Monday, January 9, 2023

Interview with the Devil

Host: “Audience, my guest didn’t show up today but I was able to get an interview with one of the most depressed creatures on this planet, the Devil.”

[The building gets a little hot as the audience sits on the edge of their seats while the devil takes a seat.]

Host: Now, you personally called and asked me if I couldn’t find a guest that you would do the show. Why?

The Devil: Well, I’m a bit tired of people blaming me for their desires. A dear friend of mine told me that the world has a habit of blaming me when they get into a mess. Gino, for instance, I caught him in bed with my wife. The both of them are in hell now, believe me. I come into the room and he’s praying for forgiveness. I’m like, she called you and you came over to get a piece of that sweet little A**. The both of you made a choice.

Host: I know Gino, he’s a good friend of mine. He told me that story. I hear you wrote a book about it also. Tell us about your book.

The Devil: Yes, it’s called, “Stop blaming the devil, I have enough problems trying to pay my gas bill.”

[Audience applauds]

Host: I hear he got your wife pregnant. Talk about that a little.

The Devil: Yes, broke my heart, do you know that she got an abortion and went begging God for forgiveness. 

Host: Your brother?

The Devil: Yes, humans are so cruel. After they ruined my life they blamed me. I’m like, did I jump inside you and tell you to wax my wife’s sweet little A**? No, you did it now burn in hell.

Host: “We’re going to take a quick commercial break and when we come back the Devil is going to sing his hit song, ‘The balance of power,’ when we come back.”

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