12,000 Years of Mourning

 If I did anything right in my younger years, I must confess that I did try to save my soul.

Just like any young, know-it-all-punk, yes, I did do some foolish things.

I have to admit that one of the hardest things that I faced was getting a divorce.

Being cheated on and finding out that a kid that I really cared about was not mine slowly ate away at my already fragile young male mind. 

Now that I’m older, I do look to the stars at night asking God what’s this all for?

Life?

To watch grown men like me walk around afraid to love.

So many eager to settle the score.

To watch innocent children be killed by unhealthy adults.

People who are afraid or cannot find true love, hiding from the fact that they’re dying inside slowly, especially the ones who’ve been hurt.

Is life ever enough?

Why are so many of us so eager for something more?

Some being turned into vengeful monsters, running through sex partners of all shapes, sizes, and colors.

Some sit in a room combing through online images and videos to ease the feeling of deep loneliness.

So, I, like them, ask God is this living?

Must I be cursed like King David?

Or are you a merciful God that will uplift my spirits every time I fail?

Now, at age 40, I’ve watch friends and family strung out on drugs, drunk, and many now dead.

Alone in a room, I too wonder if I’m just a King that needs to ask God for more strength, or am I just a bum left for dead by his people?

Am I a wondering power like King Solomon waiting for his temple?

Am I walking through the underworld here to save souls, or am I a buried mummy, already dead, only to awake after 12,000 years?

So here I am, battered and bruised, in mourning for all that I’ve lost only to realize a God of compassion, a God that’s a friend, and a God unlike described by many on Earth. A God that forgives, and a God that understands. In the end, I must say that he did answer my questions, and after 12,000 years of mourning, he lifted me up. 

Asleep, I awoke to a new day in my own little temple with a chance to try again and get it right.

I feel better now. 

Virgins all around me, blessing me with their time, showing that they care.

Genuine love and affection. 

I’ve reached paradise. 

Why the buildings are so tall

A simple story for the young mind to grow:

His expectations of the world were small.

The kid named Dashawn lived in a small bubble.

“I have to show him the tall buildings,” his father would say aloud.

“Why?” Dashawn’s mother would reply.

Dashawn’s father would pause and point to things that seemed impossible to achieve in life, pictures of legendary architect.

“So he knows that it can be done, so he can reach for the heavens and beyond.”

“That’s why the buildings are so tall;

It can be done.”

A Resurrection Story

Friends, I’ve fallen down again.

I’ve been down this road over and over again.

The filth and the funk of dirt and sweat dripping in my eyes.

I’m blinded by my own craving to be perfect in every way.

Yet, I too, often fail.

I can’t seem to reason with my own faults, but I have to get up and keep trying.

I’m dirty.

I’m filthy.

I’m fighting to be cleansed.

I have to get up.

In the holy text there is a story about how King David had one of his most faithful soldiers killed because he feared the consequences of his actions. He cheated with the man’s wife.

Deep in my own thoughts, I will not fall to my knees, but already feeling God’s glory, I will carry on, knowing that I’ve already been forgiven.

That makes me a believer.

I’ve lost another battle, but friends, I can’t give up, I must get up and try again.

A Resurrection Story.

The Green Intrusion

I had to stand still for a moment and soak it all in.

Things were moving way too fast.

The color was green, for some reason that’s all I could think of.

I knew way too much, and I was so paranoid as though someone had been watching me.

I needed more green, if I ran out, I’d be broke and out on the street.

The people around me seemed like they were living so easy. 

They were shopping, having sex, getting married and many seemed clueless about anything outside of their own business.

I mean, was I any different?

Was I just a number?

Oh God, a bank just collapsed, my thoughts are racing, I better sit down.

Why is this complete stranger talking to me about revelations?

I’m like, “Hey, Sir, Jesus already came and he’s not coming back.”

Wait, I shouldn’t have said that… let me think, “Hallelujah!”

Even if he did, we’re all to divided to see a one way ticket to heaven.

Oh, God, I’m thinking for myself, I better run.

I’m like, “Sir, we’re in this together until the bomb explodes. We’re going to kill ourselves.”

I’m losing it here.

Okay, I figured it out: COVID, shutdowns, healthcare, and green dollars don’t mix well.

Am I really important?

Wait, why is everyone trying to tell me what and how to live?

Can I do something for myself for a change?

Can I eat butter on my bagel without some health nut telling me about my cholesterol?

Oh, God, I’m jaywalking, I just broke the law.

She’s running off with my store items and my buddy is running from the cops. What should I do?

Wait, why is there only one cop, I guess the rest got laid off, no volunteers.

Oh boy, they’re having a rap concert at an elementary school before a test.

I wonder if that’s a good idea?

Is that a rainbow flag or is it a Sunday school outing?

I think I better sit down.

Money is literally flying out of that bank truck and people are running to pick it up.

Okay, let me figure out all of these intrusions.

In capitalism, dollar bills are green, everything has a price:

Church, food, housing, labor, business, water, taxes, air, cars, transportation, healthcare, and even funerals.

That explains why everyone is acting so wild. They need a source to make a living and they’re getting wild with collections because they don’t have it. 

That explains why people are screaming at drug abusers. It’s an expensive habit.

That explains why people are taking off their clothes. They need a blessing, and sex sells.

That explains why things are a bit unstable. People are fighting for stability.

That explains why the people with a lot have so many problems. They’re trying to hold on to their money.

That explains why there is so much intrusion into the people’s private life. The people in power want to know where the money is going.

It’s all because of the green bank notes that the government keeps printing out.

Once they stop printing, people lose it, and when they printout more, it’s never enough.

There’s never enough green, and it’s made the people go crazy.

I wonder how much green paper can they print out?

Is there an infinite amount of green?

My guess is probably not, but they keep sending it over seas.

Hmmm, I wonder if they’re printing it to pay the bills and driving the tax payer’s mad on purpose?

Nah, would they do that? 

Things are pretty expensive, but they keep throwing the excess away.

Hmmmm.

I better pay off my credit cards before it’s too late.

Wait, even if they run out of money to pay me, I still have to pay.

“Would you like fries with that Sir?”

I’ll never get a day off.

The Green Intrusion 

The Green Jezebels

Realizing my own weaknesses as a man of God, I write this to all brethren of faith. At night I pray for my mind to be cleansed, but I too fail as a friend of God and men, so I wrote this in deep repentance of my own soul, that God will not leave us for our submission to women who are attractive, bought, and sold. This piece is for you brethren, young prophets, you’re not alone.

The Green Jezebels:

At the stroke of midnight she will come.

Baal is her place of worship.

This, brethren, even she may not know.

She resonates through everything and her aura is persuasive.

In ancient times, her King was Ahab, and she lured prophets into traps.

Beware, she may resonate through your mind, even when taking naps.

My friend, her story and power has not changed.

The green currency that falls, don’t lose focus maintain.

As she hangs from a pole dripping in glitter,

Brethren, beware, that’s what lights the flames.. 

A night of fun can quickly pour you down a drain.

Like a snake she slithers and her tongue is long.

Beware of the trance that’s played in the song.

Drowning in lust for her, take a closer look through her soul.

Deep inside is a beast burning in a pot of gold.

A wild woman falling from grace, like an old snake dangling from a tree.

In my lonely state of manhood she even calls for me.

I observe and study her, as she replays in my mind, it’s called temptation, so I hesitate to press rewind.

I press stop, and do everything to protect my soul, I’m human and in need, but I can’t give this powerful woman all of my bankroll.

Attracted to a price, that I refuse to pay, I’m guilty, even when I keep looking, so I turn and walk away.

She gets what she wants, in evasive ways, but with God I’m strong, I don’t want his blessings to fade.

Protect me from this beast, she vibrates like a kitten.

She poisons my mind enough to make me believe that I will never be forgiven.

She spreads her legs at night, for anyone to enter, and advertises in the day, even in the cold of winter.

Cleanse my mind of her curse, as I pray to you God for strength.

Deception is a hurtle that ripples times length.

If there are limits to our time on Earth, then even beauty can be deceiving.

One look into her eyes can be misleading.

My friend, try not to feed her the green earnings, because if you do, she will feed you to Baal, a God unseen.

I have to warn you, she’s wild and mean.

She’s strong and powerful, and if unchecked can be untamed.

Beware, she is a victim of fame and can bring any man to shame.

Be mindful, young prophets; and understand which God will win you the war when the enemy comes-a-knock-in.

He seeps in through her and steals your soul when the vehicle is-a-rock-in.

Beware of one main character in the good book…

Her story is in it for a reason, it’s the hook.

This piece is just a reminder of an old, old, tale, one told at night and even in jails.

The story of…The Green Jezebels

Good Luck.

The Green Illusion

There is no time.

Truly, I tell you, there really is nothing.

When I die, I'll fade to black, and my flesh will rot away like anything old. 

There is no universe, it's all made up.

There is no success or money, it's all a lie.

There is no home to live in. 

There is no phone to talk on.

There is no love.

There is no law or rules.

There is no country and technically there is no land or even water.

I hate to say it but there is no color, there is no green.

Truly, and honestly, it's just you and I, in a world filled with ideas.

If I'm falling, and you choose to let go, then I'll die alone. 

Goodbye memories,

Goodbye.

At the end of the day, all I ever really owned was my imagination, everything else was an illusion.

The Green Illusion. 

It was all made up. 

I just made something out of nothing.

The Green Lions

 “Ronan, we’re surrounded. Should I waive the white flag?” Orla asked.

“No, we will not surrender, I have received word from Patrick that we still have one more lifeline,” Ronan explained.

“God has left us. What is your plan? I need assurance that God is still with the Celtic tribe.”

Her lack of faith had gained Ronan’s full attention, “Look to the hills. I have made good friends with our neighbors to the south. I took in refugees from Africa, they told me that they were descendants of the holy tribe of Judah so I let them in and trained them to be warriors for Ireland. Look to the hills, and when you see the green lion on their shields, we will attack.”

This confused Orla, “But Judah is in Israel,” she replied.

Ronan became irate by her doubt and began to explain, “I know, their ancestors migrated to North Africa. They were captured by England to be enslaved, and many of them escaped to Ireland, so I made a deal with them. They want to help so they can return to their homeland free. We will need them. Look to the hills, the tribe of Judah is coming. The Green Lions are our secret weapon.”

Breaching the front gate, General Henry knew that if he captured this particular piece of territory that the Irish army wouldn’t stand a chance. Standing on the watch tower, Ronan could see the Green Lion shields. At first sight, he began to blow his battle horn.

Laced with warrior attire, and green dreads, the Green Lions helped push back England’s most brutal army. Taking control of the watch tower while Ronan went to fight, Orla noticed General Henry and his army fleeing to their escape route.

The Green Lions were just too strong. Their warriors were well trained for hand to hand combat. Noticing General Henry’s retreat, Ronan declared victory as the Green Lions roared like real lions. 

In the end, Ronan kept his word. Ireland was now at peace and the Green Lions were set free to return home to Africa.

The End.

The Empty Green House

Nathaniel was sad. His stocks had all went tumbling down with the market. His luck had run out and his hot streak ended with the biggest risk of all. His daughter Pita entered the house.

“Dad, where is everything?” She asked.

In deep despair, Nathaniel turned to his daughter, “I sold it. I sold it all.”

The Empty Green House

Delirious Green

 “Yo, Green, you alright?”

“Tina, Tina, is that you?”

“Fool, who the hell is Tina?”

“He done lost his mind girl leave him laying there. This the Irish Pub, I’m sure the bartender knows what to do. Hey, Green, say no to drugs and alcohol okay.”

“I wonder who Tina is?”

The Pot of Gold

 I awoke from a dream with fifty green Irish people cascading in a straight line and tap dancing.

When I came too, I found myself alone in a dark room wondering why some give up everything in search for a pot of gold.

I could see light bouncing off of a gold coin as I stood up from my bed to stretch.

Frantically, I could hear leprechauns laughing under my bed.

I took a look to see the little green people, but all I got was a lucky gold coin underneath.

I then took a ride on a green float in a parade while tirelessly laying back down drifting into another dream.

It was clear that my mind had reached the outer limits.

In the distance, I couldn’t help seeing a globe filled with water and golden lands.

It’s amazing how things can look from a far.

Realizing the message that the Celtic tribe had been trying to send, I ascended back down to earth in a gold temple giving thanks and shaking hands.

The green people taught me to be content.

Just like everything, a message can get confusing, and reinterpreted in so many ways so I had to stay afloat.

After drowning in a gold lake trying to keep up with the rich, I had to be brought back down to earth and just be grateful for what I had first.

The pot of gold was just a lure of luck.

It was the bait to a life filled with accountants and financial planners.

A life that would take so many risk to afford.

I just had to realize that I couldn’t take the gold with me when I died and to sell my soul to get it on Earth had driven me mad.

The pot of gold was a scam, there was nothing at the end of the rainbow but a mirage from the sun.

Running in circles around the hot golden disk, chasing little green men for gold coins, time made me wise enough to realize that chasing a dream of riches can be deceiving.

My eyes had now been open to just clear my mind and work with the hand that I’d been dealt.

The odds are better that way.

I now know why my dad kept a sack of coins in the back room.

He’d been preparing for a rainy day.

He was tired of gambling and trying to get lucky.

Falling in a deep sleep by his sack of coins, he wore his self out searching for the pot of gold.

March Madness

 Sometimes it feels like the radio and TV are talking to me.

“Are you Schizophrenic?”

“Yes.”

Sometimes I feel like I’m swimming in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow with a leprechaun.

“Are you Lucky?”

“Yes.”

Sometimes it feels like sports, especially basketball is calling me.

“Are you addicted?”

“Yes.”

“It’s madness, everything is revolving around me and the balls. Doesn’t the basketball look like a planet?”

“I’ve gon MAD”

The Green Angel

"Welcome to March," were her last words. 

While she was living, I rather enjoyed watching her move on stage with her Irish friends. 

She was like an angel to me. 

She always spoke life into the world; until she started using drugs.

She turned to drugs because the world hurt her and the men who loved her would die for her, but she only felt it from the man who hurt her the most. 

Watching her suffer made us all suffer. 

Watching her tears made us all cry.

"Get off that stuff please Amy!" We would all argue. 

Watching the band fade away and watching her take her last breath from a drug overdose was like watching Christ being crucified. 

All we could do was watch; we could do nothing while the world killed her slowly. 

What pain we all felt watching her die from her wounds. 

Life's trauma made her heavily medicated, and she couldn't stop. 

We couldn't stop her. 

Amy was a gift from God and the world killed her with drugs. 

Our last moments on stage singing while she danced in her green dress even brought our Irish fans to their feet. 

This was our moment in time, we were strong, not lucky. 

Whatever our friend was hurting from the fans were starting to notice, drowning in her sorrows alone at night the drugs killed her slowly and she could not stop. 

On her death bed, I watched her fly away to send the message to God about what she had saw on Earth. 

I say this literally because this is what I honestly felt.

It sounds crazy but these visions as a song writer come from somewhere because the wind blew. I'm telling you she flew away to report to God. 

She looked me in the eyes and said, 

"I will be returning with an army of God's angels don't worry. Welcome to March." 

I was the only one to hear her say this. 

Leaving the hospital and turning on the TV and watching all of humanity lose it on TV with no sense of saving the world I began to wonder again. Does God send his angels to Earth? 

"Yes, God does send human angels to save us, and Yes, they are watching over us, so listen to their words as they sing their heart out. Many are trying to save you with their message."

Standing by her grave, I said goodbye to my green angel.

"We will meet again in God's army to save the world."

This was my song that played through the air waves for days and days: 

The Green Angel