Thursday, April 30, 2020

“A Champion!”

We were deep in the playoffs; something had jumped in to my man Shaw, I mean this dude had hit just about every shot he put up. This was serious. I was like, “Dude, is yo life on the line?” He was divin’ on the floor, making key steals and even gettin’ in the referee’s face. He even called key plays, right out of the coaches playbook. Somethin’ supernatural was in ol’boy. Late fourth quarter—man turned into a beast. Throwin’ his towel, screamin’ at fans. He even dunked on an old classmate. I think it was Sissy’s little brother, then he gave him his daddy look when he gave him the business. Poster shots. It was no mercy, no apologies type stuff. The point guard Jerry was out partyin’ the night before a key game and Shaw went Planet of the Apes on the little dude, came in like Koba and dragged Jerry right out of the party, made him go home and go to bed. He was like: “Dude, not until we get that trophy!” Shaw was serious, he wanted to win and when we did, they called him one thing: “A Champion!” How does that sound? Even at practice, they called him one thing: “A Champion!”

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

The Tomato Garden

“It’s harvesting time,” Terry said to his beautiful new wife.
In a purple colored T-shirt, she tiptoed across the garden. She could feel the tender soil seeping through the cracks of her toes. Her huge afro puffs dangling, greased, sparkling like glitter reflecting the sun.
“Now remember, don’t eat any tomatoes or surly you will lose me,” Karah said giggling, leading the way into the tomato garden.
Walking deeper into the garden, Terry could smell the freshness of nature, he could feel life blossoming all around him. Basking in the moment, Terry then hears a voice.
“Terry,  it’s me Amos, your neighbor.”
“Amos, where are you? I can hear you, but I can’t see you,” Terry replied, looking around.
“You’re wife told me I could have as many tomatoes as I needed so I ate one and turned into one. What kinda voodoo do you and her got going on here? Help me out, so I can get back like you in my human body,” Amos said.
Feeling the pressure, Terry had a flash back from a past relationship, things seem to never add up since he’d gotten married. Being a new husband he wondered if he could trust his wife, if she truly loved him, but the sight of a tomato talking to him had set off some serious nerves.
A few feet away, Terry’s wife took notice, “ Terry sweetie, who are you talking to?”
“Ahh. I’m just saying my grace baby...just saying my grace...that’s all.” Terry replied.
Terry began to sweat, his thoughts began to race as the sun beamed down on him with not a cloud in the sky.
“Karah, who told you we couldn’t eat any of these precious tomatoes?”
Karah went from singing a catchy tune to concerned.
“I was just being sarcastic honey, now come closer so we can enjoy this beautiful day together.”
“Don’t listen to her Terry, help me. She knows that if you save me, the truth will come out. Don’t you want to know the truth. Who needs a beautiful wife and family when you can see the truth. Now save me so I can be human again. All you have to do is eat a tomato and your eyes will be open.
Under pressure, Terry turned to his wife,
“Karah, let’s get the hell out of here, the tomatoes are alive.”
In a calm voice, Karah gets up, after she had made herself comfortable on a blanket spread out on a patch of grass beside the garden.
“I know the tomatoes are alive baby, they’re alive so we can be fed. So we can eat them. We planted the seeds and then they grew. Stop being so silly, she walks over to her husband and picks Amos from a patch of tomatoes and takes a bite.
“Now you have some sweetie.”
Trusting his wife, Terry takes a bite of the tomato then Amos’s spirit enters his body while Terry’s transfers into a tomato.
Unknowingly, Terry and his wife fell into another man’s trap, Amos was a lost soul who lusted for an innocent man’s wife. Being Terry’s neighbor, Amos asked a witch to help Terry’s wife fall in love with him. The witch turned Amos into a tomato and put a curse on him. The only way he could have Terry’s wife was if he were eaten by Terry. She told Amos that as long as he didn’t eat any tomatoes from the garden, he would replace Terry but only a tomato from the garden and true love could stop him from having Terry’s wife. Amos spent 3 days in Terry’s body trying to fulfill his lustful desires but after the third day Terry’s wife caught on, she knew something wasn’t right. Reflecting on the day in the tomato garden, she began to add things up. Figuring it had something to do with the tomatoes, Karah went into the garden and picked every tomato she could find and made tomato soup. Even a newlywed knows her husband so one day when Amos came home, Karah wouldn’t touch him.
“Is everything okay sweetheart?” Amos asked, noticing a different mood from Karah.
“Oh, I’m fine, do you want to try some of my new soup? I got it from the grocery store,” Karah said.
Hungry and yielding to Karah’s cunning charm, Amos began to eat the soup only to turn back into a tomato.
Back in his body, Terry and his wife fell deeper in love. Seeing that she caught on to another man’s tricks, Terry knew that his wife truly loved him because she saved him from the wrath of spending the rest of his life as a tomato. Amos’s trick only lasted three days and got him nowhere, while Terry and his wife lived happily ever after.
The End.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020


Derrick had a story to tell, he just didn’t know whom to tell it to. A combat veteran, and often alone, one night he encounters a spirit with seven rings.
“Derrick, I’ve come to talk to you. God sent me, he’s heard your prayers,” the spirit said.
Derrick wakes up and sees no one. Sweating, he grabs his crutches, then hobbles to the bathroom to take his medicine. The life of a war veteran can be strange in the middle of the night. Memories are usually what keeps a vet up. Noticing his bandage falling off, Derrick starts screaming at the mirror in rage.
“Do you give up? Old friend.”
“Who’s there? Leave me alone,” Derrick said, looking around only to see no one.
“I’ve come to talk to you, to give you a message from the other side. Tomorrow you’ll find one of my rings on the floor. When you put it on, all of your pain will be healed. You made it through the war for a reason Derrick, but you have one more war to fight.”
The voice then fades away while Derrick tightens up his bandage and grabs his crutches, only to fall to the floor in pain.
“Somebody help me! Somebody help me please!” He shouted, with no one answering.
“God help me, please.”
Feeling his medicine kicking in and tired from all the pain, he falls to sleep on the bathroom floor. He then begins to dream. In his dream he sees his ex-wife.
“Linda, Linda, is that you?” He asked, but she pushes him away.
When she pushes him, he begins to fall. The falling wakes him up. In another cold sweat on the bathroom floor he notices a ring underneath the toilet, it looks like his wedding ring. It had to be about three or four in the morning because the house was still dark. In agony, Derrick slowly picks the ring up and puts it on his finger. After he does this, something magical begins to take place. He’s healed and feels no more pain.
“Oh my God, it’s a miracle. I can walk,” he said, out loud.
The floor screeches as he feels his feet hitting the dry dirty wood. In the midst of his excitement he notices a face in the mirror hanging on his closet door, out of the corner of his eye, he can see it while standing still.
“Who’s there?” He asked.
“It’s me, the man with six rings. I want you to keep my seventh ring, it looks good on you,” the man said.
Derrick straightens up.
“What do you want from me? What do you want in return, for healing me?” Derrick asked.
“Derrick, I want you to be happy. Do what your brothers on the battlefield would do if they were to live. Do what’s right and I promise you, you’ll never feel pain again. I want you to stop having so many regrets, just use what you’ve learned from being alone as a force to help you be the best man you can be. That’s the war you have to win. In forty years, I’ll be back to check on you.”
The man then fades away.
Still in disbelief, Derrick opens the doorway to his closet and sees nothing but black, he mistakenly steps in and begins falling again, only to wake up in another cold sweat.
Feeling no pain, he looks at the clock on the wall, gets out of bed and realizes that his dream was real. He then takes a shower, puts his clothes on, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth, and heads to his doctor’s appointment. He feels refreshed, in light of the fact that he was able to do these things for the first time in a long time with no pain.
“Derrick, where are your crutches, and why did you remove your bandages?” His doctor asked, examining his healed wounds.
“Something happened to me last night.”
“What? What happened? You look like a whole new man.”
“I had a dream, a dream that I was falling. I don’t remember much before that, I woke up and now I’m healed,” Derrick explained to his doctor.
Derrick’s story soon spread throughout the whole world. Headline after headline made the news about a fallen forgotten solder who was miraculously healed in his dreams. Derrick had given every veteran and active duty soldier something to believe in. The country was on the brink of collapsing until he had come back on the scene. Derrick had done everything right, he lived his life and forty years later the spirit came back while Derrick was asleep on the couch.
“You did it,” the man with six rings said.
“I did what?” Derrick replied.
“Because of you, they’ll never forget another fallen soldier again. You alone gave them the strength to remember. My work here is done. Carry on soldier, you won the war,”
the man with six rings said beginning to fade away.
“Wait, will I ever see you again?”
The man pauses and looks Derrick in the eyes.
“You dreamed that you were falling, but now you rise. When your life is complete, you’ll be like every soldier who falls down so that his country can face the ultimate test of remembrance. Me and your brothers will be waiting for you on the other side. Thanks for putting my ring to good use. One day it’ll be your halo.”
The man with six rings solutes Derrick, then fades away.
Derrick later remarried and lived the rest of his life as a family man. His story still lives on in every soldier fighting on the battlefield today. A story about a fallen forgotten soldier who got back up and pulled off a miracle. On his tombstone it read: “You can only learn to get back up after falling.”
The End.

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Extreme Scripted Democracy

Fade In
MIKE: So what’s the word boss?
CRUZE: The President just choked the Surgeon General on global television, we’re at war with each other in the midst of madness. What else is new?
(CRUZE gets up and walks to the window.)
MIKE: Well, he fired everybody last week. What can we do? He’s the President.
CRUZE: Get on the phone with the leaders of the shadow government.
MIKE: No ones heard from them since the virus started spreading.
CRUZE: Damn! Everything’s falling apart. You know MIKE this job used to be simple. You came in, took orders and then got things done. Now the laws are all upside down. Everyone just does whatever the hell they want to do.
MIKE: Well, do you want to pull out (MIKE pauses and slowly grabs his brass knuckles out of his pocket) the “Whatever Act?”
CRUZE: Hell yeah, let’s do whatever the hell we want to do for a change, then when things get better and the dust settles, everything will be back to normal. Everybody for themselves.
(MIKE and CRUZE leave the room and start saying and doing whatever the hell they want as they enter a press conference.)
MIKE: You know CRUZE, I never liked you.
(CRUZE pushes MIKE into a reporter and smacks him over the head with a flag pole.)
CRUZE: I know this is what you reporters have been waiting for, so we’re going to give you what you want. A real congressional, aggressive, state of the union brawl and debate for your viewers.
(CRUZE begins to choke MIKE right in the middle of the conference. He takes MIKE by the hair and puts his face up to the camera.)
CRUZE: Hey! Jennifer, you work for CSB NEWS right? Get that camera over here, I have a message for the country.
(Jennifer gracefully puts the camera on the action.)
CRUZE: My fellow countrymen and countrywomen, the “Whatever Act” is in full effect. We’re going to do whatever the hell we want to do because the whole world has done whatever the hell they want to do with your tax dollars.
(CRUZE takes MIKE by the head and shoves the “Whatever Act” paper in his mouth.)
CRUZE: And to all of you new citizens, welcome to the Wild-Wild-West!
(CRUZE then takes MIKE’s head then puts it to the camera again.)
CRUZE: Spit out the “Whatever Act” and tell the people: “The stimulus money is on its way.”
MIKE: The stimulus money is on its way.
(A lawn chair comes flying through the window.)
Fade to black.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

Little Willie

Little Willie knew what he wanted, but everyone else wanted the same thing, they just kept it quiet.
They all sat at the dinner table waiting for their moment.
Little Willie’s chances of getting what he wanted were very slim with everyone else wanting the same thing.
Being disabled and watching the look on everyone’s face, Little Willie knew he had to move fast.
He soon realized that some bodily functions couldn’t be controlled and once something is in high demand you got to run like the Easter bunny to get it before someone else does.
So what did Little Willie want?
Well, let’s just say when he got it,
he felt as good as a chicken laying eggs.
That’s a real story about Little Willie.

Sunday, April 5, 2020

35,000 Years in the Dark

She was dark brown, wool like hair with rainbow eyes. She was tender, very loving, unique—she could see in the dark, and Tubs had been her only friend since he met her 12 years ago. Her name was Magdalene Jones and oddly, Tubs had never touched her. I guess women have a story too, but Magdalene had a secret to tell and only one man was patient enough to listen.
“Oh, I won’t tell your secret, I swear,” Tubs told Magdalene.
She smiled, assured by his words.
“35,000 years ago I was pushed back and resurrected into the dark. I was told by God that if I woke up in the light, I would die instantly. I don’t want to live in the dark anymore Tubs. The people who live in the dark are foul creatures, it’s like they have no soul, they’re lost. It’s scary what people do in the dark Tubs. I have not felt a day of mercy until I met you. I wish I were never resurrected. I’ve watched over the people in the dark for 35,000 years. I’ve been raped, sold for porn, and even robbed working the night shift, how do I passover Tubs?” Magdalene asked.
Tubs looks at her in deep sorrow, “I’m sorry to hear that Magdalene. It sounds like the only way to pass over, is you must go into the light.”
Magdalene began to cry, “I’ll die Tubs, I’ve lived in the dark for 35,000 years. I’m afraid of what’s on the other side.”
“Magdalene, you can’t continue to live like this. I’m the only man that will tell you the truth. You’re not a lady of the night anymore. I won’t let you believe that,” Tubs said.
“If I go into the light, who will be here for you?” Magdalene asked.
“I’ll go into the light with you, I’ll save us both from this pit that we live in,” Tubs replied.
They both went to bed for the first time together at 9 o’clock and still Tubs didn’t touch her. They awoke to a ray of sunshine. They both walked into the light only to be reborn, never to walk in the darkness again. They were saved, the weight of living in the darkness with needles, prostitution, criminals and rapist was over. No more suffering. After they crossed over, the stars were born. How merciful of her to leave something behind, Ms. Magdalene Jones.
35,000 years in the dark.

Friday, April 3, 2020

Judah The Gentle Lion

This is what happens when a gentle lion brings a gift to a wild tiger.
“You’re kind.” Willis the tiger said to the gentle lion.
“I’m kind because I believe we can share the jungle, and live peacefully together,” Judah, the gentle lion replied.
Seeing these two talk gave the animals in the jungle hope for peace, but everyone knew Willis could not be trusted. Judah was often made fun of because he was a kind lion, probably the kindest the pride had ever seen, at least in their lifetime. Some of the animals felt that he was sent from the God of lions because of their mercy to the animals. Willis saw his kindness as a weakness and wanted slave labor in the jungle. In a power struggle he went to the bats.
“Willis, what brings you to our cave?” Felix the bat asked.
“I’ve come to make a deal.”
The other bats flocked over to hear the conversation. Felix stood tall representing his flock.
“What deal does a tiger make with a bat?” Felix asked.
“I need your saliva to release a fatal disease to kill off the lions so I can take over the jungle. We can attack them at night, all you and your flock have to do is bite them when they’re asleep, they won’t see it coming.” Willis explained.
“What do we get in return?”
“I’ll give you full reign of the night.”
Felix and his flock were overjoyed,
“We will take your offer and help you destroy the gentle lion and his pride.”
Zion, the jungle crow, who was the most cunning out of all of the birds in the jungle, overheard the conversation and saw an opportunity to make a deal with the gentle lion.
“Judah, I bring news to you,” Zion said.
Judah began to walk with Zion, the jungle crow.
“What news do you bring, Zion?”
“Willis the tiger has made a deal with Felix and his flock. He wants you and your pride dead so he can rule the jungle and make us all his slaves,” Zion explained.
“He has taken my kindness for a weakness,” Judah replied.
“Yes, and I want to help you for a small favor,” Zion said.
Judah stopped in his tracks, “What do you want?”
“I want my family back from the dead. The birds of the air say you can raise the dead and we want to help you rule the sky.”
“It is so, Zion, lead Willis to me and you and your flock handle his army of bats then after I defeat him in battle, I’ll bring back your family so you can spend the rest of your life with them. A bird that desires his family is a good bird, a bird with a heart, noble enough to rule the sky.”
Zion took Judah’s word and led Willis to Judah, Willis had no clue that Zion and Judah made a truce.
Willis planned to attack Judah and his pride in the night, when he reached Judah and called for the bats to bite it was too late, Zion and his flock of jungle crows trapped Felix and his flock in their cave.
Judah stood tall, “You would betray a gentle lion.”
Willis didn’t back down, “I betrayed you because you’re weak. I was made to eat flesh not live in peace with a gentle pussycat.”
Willis attacked Judah with the assumption that he would be an easy win, but Judah was far from weak, he ripped out Willis’s eyes and left him blind in a field of wild leopards. The leopards spared Willis because Judah had promised peace unless an animal became hostile. Judah also resurrected Zion’s family. He kept his promise. When all of the animals saw this, they now knew that the God of lions had sent Judah. Seeing that he had performed a miracle in the midst of darkness, he stood tall on the top of a hill and roared. No one ever took his kindness for a weakness again.
“I would rather serve a gentle lion, rather than an oppressive wild tiger any day,” Zion, the jungle crow concluded.
The End.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

What cured Brandy Lou

“Has anyone noticed good old Brandy Lou; by George, I don’t think she’s ever been sick?”
David said, closing his book, preparing to spit.
Everyone paid no attention, outside sitting on hay; David was teaching no one, safe to say.
Then Tasha coughed and frightened everyone away, it was no later than noon, probably about midday.
“Germs are bad Tasha and you’re always sick,” Teresa said, smacking her with a stick.
“You just coughed, oh my,” Brenda replied.
Brandy Lou laughed and waived goodbye,
“I run, I jog, I walk, and climb, my body is in shape and I believe I can fly. My mind is clear, I eat berries and fruits, unlike you pigs who eat trash and artificial roots. You take medicines with harmful side-effects and drink alcohol until your liver bleeds, I jump and climb mountains and look at the top of the trees. When you see something big, you run and hide, but I’m so in shape, my body glides. I fight the fight because my immune system is intact, while you give up the guts, I laugh because your immune system is wack. No need to hate, just do what I do, and I promise you’ll conquer any disease that kills. I’m here to show you a trick stronger than pills.”
          Everyone began to follow good old Brandy Lou with all of her vitamin C, she was so healthy the sun reflected her vitamin D. The doctors smiled when she walked by, for they knew healthy, it’s what made them spy. Good exercise and a good diet, that’s the secret weapon to Brandy Lou.  If everyone were like her, the doctors wouldn’t have hardly anything to do, for they would have to take all of their medicines and find the flu. You see, death and disease are one in the same, but a good healthy body is what cures the pain. Look at how she glows, that’s what cured Brandy Lou, and when the virus came she hadn’t a cough in sight, her immune system was so strong that it won the fight. The virus didn’t stand a chance, the natural laws of nature just need to be obeyed, Brandy Lou was so smart for she was cured in days. Exercise, and good eating habits are what cured Brandy Lou, I dare you to try it, I’m giving you a clue. A clue to treat your body right, not only in the day but also at night.
Like a farmer and hay, like a baby turning blue, by George, good habits are what cured Brandy Lou.