I Understand

Once upon a time I found myself mystified by the horrors of the world. Trained to be a soldier as I grew older I found the little boy that I once was fading away. I had to grow up and accept the fact that there is a part of life hidden and once I comprehended these truths my mind became clear. I wrote this piece after watching a documentary about a soldier who I assume was battling with some very serious mental issues, but did not know where to go for help. Later on in the video she killed her daughter. I wrote this piece not because I felt she was innocent, but I wrote it for those people who are mentally ill. Having this experience myself at one point in my life it actually made me a better person. It humbled me to understand that the science of fear can rewire the brain. I am numb to the problems of the world but I wrote this piece to say I understand. I have come to learn to think for myself and to wake up everyday grateful that I have something to do, learn, and teach. I have learned that no one is perfect and we all play the fool sometimes so here’s a poem:

In darkness we cannot see but we can feel.

I understand what it’s like to be blind.

When looking at the sun I cannot see but I can feel.

I say again, I understand what it’s like to be blind.

In a car with loud music my eardrums vibrate and I cannot hear a thing.

I understand what it’s like to be deaf.

On a busy street after my car just ran out of gas and I have no money to get it fixed I begin begging for help.

I now understand.

Watching the news I see people suffering from the woes of war, I take the time to listen to the survivors problems, they’re angry, frustrated, and many of them have no where to go.

Begging for help I now understand.

I’ve come to learn why we’re here. I’ve come to understand why we do the things we do, say the things we say and feel the way we do.

I now understand.

Why out of all of God’s creation do humans feel emotions? Why do we think? Why do we feel? If we’re made by something or someone, why?

The questions are complex, but after watching a child teach me a valuable lesson, I’ve come to learn that some things are just out of our control. I now understand.

Life is a jungle that we all get lost in, it’s a street with many lanes, and a sky with many colors. It’s a world filled with both beautiful and ugly things and one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

My war may be someone else’s story to tell and my death may bring others back to life. We’re all in one big sphere of life, some people are in 2D and some are in 3D. Some people see in black and white and some see color. In a free society some turn to religion and some turn to constructive thinking.

Even if you’ve never met me, it may not seem like it at times, but I understand, no need to fight, no need to get upset…

I understand.