Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Love is possible

Running in circles, I could feel the insoles in my track spikes heating up from the friction and traction of an intense race. Nearly collapsing at the finishline it was a photo finish.

“You did it Greg,” I heard my best friend Tina say out of my good ear.

Slowly trying to catch my breath, I looked up in the stands and saw no one. This ate away at my psyche. I was slowly turning into a maniac, determined to win and meet the grades, I was literally reading everything and no one around me could keep up. I was just too good at everything, somehow I managed to tame my ego, but my family of drunks and drug addicts weren’t helping me when I had to face reality. I often made friends with the oddest people, they found inspiration in my knowledge and generous attitude. Deep inside I wanted to be this tough perfect guy but that just wasn’t reality. No matter how hard I studied and advanced in ranks the memories haunted me. I just couldn’t let go. It was like I’d been standing on a mountain top alone. I had no stable support system. While everyone was going to church and finding time to waste, there I was in a room studying. I’d literally watched an entire civilization of people tormented by lack of knowledge and resources and the more I tried to help the harder it got for me. Yearning for companionship, I stumbled across my old high school friend Tina’s number in an old phone and, yes, I was now older, but even with all of my accolades I was still unhappy. Roaming the aisle at grocery stores I couldn’t imagine how some of the women could come outside dressed the way they did. I literally couldn’t help but notice a man by the register watching this one particular lady with curves to die for, and there he stood drooling and fantasizing. Back at home the news of the war in the Middle East kept my attention. I’d come to learn that the harder some people tried to fix other folks’ thinking, the worst it seemed to get, and in a system filled with opportunist, laws to the ignorant were like video games being played and everyone trying to win and some people just couldn’t keep up. Time is good though, time smoothens things out. One thought led to another and a terrible conversation with my drunk mother motivated me to call Tina. Hearing her answer after the fourth ring caused me to shiver. 

“Hello,” she said, awaiting a response.

“Ahh, hello, is this Tina…Tina Smith?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“Oh, hey, this is Greg. We were best friends in high school.” 

“Oh my God! Hi Greg. I haven’t spoken to you in years. How are you?” 

“I’m good,” I responded, feeling my heart pouring out as much as I could, desiring the small phone reunion.

Man, we had to talk for hours. From the recent news to just everything ordinary. Then it hit me again. My ego, I was not ordinary anymore, but I knew I needed this woman. Tina’s life remained stationary while I excelled, but she kept her phone by her every time I called and needed a friend. Tina had become my outlet, even with all of her three children and baby daddy drama stories, she found hope in me, out of all of her mistakes. Realizing that I needed a break, I took a vacation and took a trip home after years on the overtime list of my highly paid technical job. While home, I figured I would surprise Tina so I knocked on her door in an unexpected visit. I broke a cardinal rule but Tina was always Tina. She answered and was still full of genuine love. This was what I wanted, it was what I needed. Seeing her two girls and son made me leave every doubt behind, Tina had something that I never had. She had a family, I mean, yes, the fathers were not around but I had to be with this woman. She had just a high school degree but she carried herself like a lady. Curly hair, brown eyes, and the aura of a goddess. Sitting on her couch we talked for hours and that’s really all I needed. We didn’t even touch each other but we just kept talking about everything, and at the end of the night on my way out she hugged me and looked me in the eyes.

“I love you Greg, I’ve always loved you, but I know you need more. You need a woman on your level, Greg, the world needs you and I would just hold you back. Would you leave it all behind just to coach me and my children just to be able to keep up with your life?” 

Hearing her say that crushed me like a grape falling from a fruit stand on a busy street.

I’d snapped, I couldn’t accept the story of my life. Honestly, I was never good enough, and even when I was too good, I wasn’t good enough to be on the ground level. Apparently Tina didn’t feel we were equally yoked but the attraction was there, I felt it. Falling off of my love high I found myself back home alone and I just couldn’t stop thinking about Tina. It was like there were voices on the other side giving me a vision of something that could possibly work or could it just be me? I mean, yes, there were plenty of fish in the sea and that’s when it happened. She came all the way to me. She surprised me and knocked at my door with her kids and all of her bags. What a surprise.

Speechless, I found myself in a love story destined for a happy ending. I guess love comes in many different forms. I guess the offer I made to her to come live with me sold. From my time as a track star, to my lonely nights advancing in the corporate world, I became a husband and a father in less than three years. The outcast nerdy kid found his soulmate in a high school prom queen whose heart was broken over and over again but left everything to not only better herself but better me. 

When I snapped, Tina snapped me back into shape, she snapped me back down to earth. Together, we somehow snapped into love. It was just me, her, and the kids now and my life was complete. I guess even when you’re at the top of your game, in the end we’re all just ordinary people yearning to fall in love. Miraculously, Tina and I lasted. We made it til death do us part. I wrote this note for our kids. I kindly told them that even love has its ups and downs, but true love last a lifetime. Because of their parents, all of our children believed in love. They were not afraid of it. Tina and I made that possible.

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