The Losers Club

 The fire to lose sucked the life out of people and there was no one better at it than Edward and his brother Willie. These brothers were so good at losing that they started their own club. 

Willie approached the microphone that they would place on the bench and pickup, “Brothers, we are the scum of every sport, the reason for defeat. We die because we lose. When the game is on the line we miss layups, we drop passes and most of all we love to be booed. Brothers, I’d like to dedicate this first meeting to those who seek to separate us, those terrible winners who separate blacks from whites, democrats from republicans and girls from boys just so they can feel like winners. Little Jerry, it’s time to approach the bench and tell the story about how you got cut from the team.”

Little Jerry stood tall, “I knew the coach hated me because I was injury prone. So when I got healthy and he put me in in the fourth quarter I stuck it to him by missing the game winning layup and that cotton picking master cut me from the team.” 

The losers club cheered, they went crazy as little Jerry replayed the replay on his presentation screen.

“Look at his face fellas, look at me suck the life out of the most winningest team in college basketball history during Black History Month. My mother would be so proud of me,” Little Jerry explained as the losers club embraced him.

Edward approached the microphone in tears as they all cheered, “Good men, I’d like to first thank the losing president who gave us welfare and social programs to survive. I’d like to thank all of the women who try to get us for child support when we have nothing left. And most of all I’d like to thank every losing player cut from the teams that fuel those raging obsessed fans who give us hell. In closing, fellas, how does it feel to be forgotten? How does it feel to miss every winning shot? How does it feel to be assassinated for standing up to winners who cheat and take all kinds of supplements to make us look like the infidels? But most of all brothers, how does it feel to be losers? Brothers, there’s justice in losing.”

The Losers Club