Tender Jones AKA the Underdog

"Johnny, good God, would you get me a fight!" Jones said in frustration.
"But Jones, you've lost every fight, no one wants to fight a loser," Louie explained as Johnny left the room in disgust after trying to convince Jones to retire.
"Damn it Louie, but I feel like a winner, now find somebody for me to punish! You hear? I feel like a winner. Get me a fight! I feel like punishing somebody, I'll fight anybody!," Jones replied with certainty.
Louie went out and set up a fight with him and Big Hands Collins. Big Hands was looking for an easy fight to get ready to defend his title. Assuming it would be a walk in the park, he even put his belt on the line. He tried to be as nice as possible but Tender Jones wasn't having it. He had all of a sudden felt like a winner one morning and he was ready to fight his own mother to get some reps if he had too.
"I'm going to bust your face until the print on my gloves are on your skull, do you hear me boy," Tender Jones said to Big Hands in their one-on-one interview. When Big Hands spit in Tender Jones face, it was on.The fight was set.
Feeling the heat of the fight, Tender Jones had took Big Hands into the unexpected twelfth round and a lot of people who bet against Jones, had been shaking in their boots and double checking their bank accounts. In the last five seconds of the fight, Tender Jones hit Big Hands with the hardest uppercut known to man. Big Hands was down and from the looks of it, he wasn't getting up. Tender Jones had just won the biggest upset of his little career and stunned the boxing world.
Terry the announcer, like everyone, was stunned, you could hear a pin drop, the arena was so silent, Terry then jumped into the ring to get a word from Jones,
"How do you feel about your upset, Jones?"
"I told the world I was ready to punish somebody and that's what I did. Everybody thought it was over but when you wake up feeling like a winner everyday, even with no wins, as long as there is a body on the ticket, somebody is going down. Now I want you to look at me. Take a look at the one they called the underdog. Look at my critics' faces. They look sick, look at them! Somebody call the doctor," Jones explained holding his new title.
"Tell us how you did it, Jones. Everybody in the sports world had you marked off the moment you stepped in the ring. You have never won a fight in your career. How did you manage to convince the champ to fight you? How did you pull this off?" Terry asked.
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, Terry, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Sometimes you can get used to losing and it can be rough because no one want's to be around a loser. But when you wake up feeling like a champ you just need someone to fight and I thank the champ for taking me as a joke. This is what this sport is about. It's about being down and out but finding a way to make things happen and that's what I did. I shocked the world by beating a big ugly bear that counted me out," the new champ explained as he turned his back to the camera and walked out with all of Big Hands ringside girls.
After the talk, Terry, being 70 years old, felt like a winner himself so he faced the camera to send a message home to his wife, "Unbelievable, the world now has a new champ that is 1 and 50. Gina, I'm an old man but I'm coming  home and taking you out tonight. Let's make another baby, cuz I feel like a winner. By God, I feel like an underdog."
The End.