Christ-Mass

At first I saw the children.

Holy, holy, holy they screamed like angels.

Then I saw a black and white horse.

I also saw the great hoe. Oh she gave us all great pleasure. Even the angels. 

The kings stood tall to rule the Earth, many of them found secrets to live forever.

That’s when I heard the Trumpet.

The great bombs brought everyone to their knees even the mighty pharaohs.

On a sea of gold I saw an army of churches. 

Dressed in a purple robe he and his members stood tall they were ready to fight with their King.

They held hands with the children who gave their life to save others.

In the war against evil they stood in mass numbers— for this King of Kings somehow gave them no fear of death. 

I could hear preaching in the distance, preaching of the Kingdom of heaven.

I saw people speaking in tongues, and passing out. 

They left everything for this King, they gave up everything, they would die with no fear for him.

This King of Kings gave them unbelievable courage and strength.

He gave them the belief of another place far greater than the world.

They stood on the front lines and took a beating just as he did for them.

I saw them fight along side angels, dying, only to keep reproducing. 

Dying, only to keep living.

Falling, only to keep rising like the sun.

Amazed, and in ahhhhh at his ever lasting strength.

I too fell to my knees in death only to rise again in an eternal kingdom of heaven.

I awoke from this dream a thousand times only to hear the sounds of Christ-Mass.

In remembrance of him the doors were open.

Christ-Mass

What a fellowship.

What a joy divine.

Old Christmas

For a second I thought about adapting to the new generation. I actually thought about not celebrating Christmas this year, no traditional Santa hat, no Christmas trees in the store, no Christmas party and most of all no Christmas. It’s become apparent that I’m the new old guy and in a multicultural country the old traditions are fading fast. Sadly, Christianity is on the decline and to many the story of a savior seems to be fading also. Yes, the imagination that once led the world to believe in miracles has been hit with a sad darker side of human nature. I wrote this piece because it took a lot for me to drop my own human ambitions and humbly acknowledge Christ this year and keep my own family traditions alive. So here are my motives: 

1. Christ tried to be of good service to the world so I keep doing good deeds. He talked about another life in an eternal heaven so I have to extend myself to that same belief.

2. In the story, Christ was born of a virgin mother in a manger so I must spread the good news to children that their birth is special too. Christ was crucified with a crown of thorns on his head and was humiliated in a sense to die so that we could be forgiven for our sins. So I wear a Santa hat as an old man sacrificing my time to keep the old characters and traditions alive. 

3. Since everything has literally become a science, I continue to have Christmas parties every year to show the next generation that if we take the time to reflect on the story of Christ around this time of year we will comprehend the true message in the biblical sense. The message that beyond our imagination there is another world called heaven and if the old Christmas dies then that belief along with all of its customs, magic, and glory will fade.

The story of Christ has created heroes, life savers, and most of all hope.

Merry Christmas 

In a dark cruel world if I can do anything right, it would be to keep the old Christmas alive.

As hard and humiliating as it is at times, I know that bravery comes in all forms and the moment that I become selfish and forget about the true meaning of the holiday then I too will fade.

Old Christmas 

Christmas Dog

 Sitting in a room with two scholars arguing over divinity and science I couldn’t help but notice my pet dog lift his leg up to take a piss on our Christmas tree. I quickly interrupted the argument as we all sat and watched the dog pee on the tree and then kindly shake his leg. He then decided to go lay on the Christmas rug to look out the window and watch the snow fall.

This was a special moment. It was clear that it was in the dog’s nature to not care. Now that he’d pissed on the tree it was his territory and there was nothing we could do about it.

Noticing my two friends end their conversation we all decided to squash the debate and just enjoy the holidays.

The Christmas Dog.

Christmas Depression

 My room sat at the top of a skyscraper. Looking down I saw white snow on the ground. For a moment it felt like the spirit was gone. It felt as though the world stopped believing in anything. There was no magic. Now in my forties, I’d seen it all. Women with Santa hats on, kids believing in made up holiday stories. It was as though I’d been suffering from Christmas depression. After realizing that no one cared anymore to celebrate I stood on the ledge and looked down. I then looked up at the North Star and asked God for one more sign. Feeling the wind, I saw a shooting star. “What was the odds of that?” I said to myself.

“Maybe I should keep going, try and live until my body gives out,” I thought.

I needed something more, I’d done everything I could imagine. On my way to take the leap I couldn’t help but notice a note on the ledge. It read: “I too stood on this same ledge but Yahweh came in the form of a shooting star.”

After reading the note embedded in the metal ledge, I decided to step down. Hungry and poor with no money to pay my rent, I decided to go back to the fundamentals. I started reading my Bible myself and while navigating my endless mind I found the true joy and reason for the season. In that moment of truth my Christmas depression turned into The Christmas spirit. I found hope. I found a holiday for me to smile and waive at people I’d never met before. I found the most wonderful time of year never to contemplate suicide again. Yeshua saved me, he saved us all. What were the odds of an old story like his saving a reck like me?

The End of November

I chose to be alone.

It was quiet.

I turned off the radio for the first time.

I had no access to my phone.

It was as though I were dead but alive.

If someone would have dropped a bomb the only thing I would have felt was the earth shake.

If I’m the answer or the problem I found true peace while being alone at the end of November.

The next day I went back to work. I fell back into reality.

The End of November 

My Thankful List

 1. I’m thankful for the gym. It’s been a blessing to me. I’ve made it a habit to go there and work myself to death sometimes for no reason at all. I love watching the young kids play. I see a part of my youth in them. I’ve been to a few places on the East Coast of the United States, but everywhere I visit, I always want to know how the gyms are. I’ve even played a few pickup games at poor gyms and I’ve always enjoyed shooting basketballs off of the old wooden backboards.

2. I’m thankful for educational institutions. Being a veteran of the world’s most amazing Navy I found out how to work my brain until it goes numb. I spent the majority of my younger adult life learning and it nearly killed me because my brain almost shutdown completely at age 18. You may think this is a lie, but I had to read the Bible just to get well. I’ve read so many books since that time only to come to the honest belief that there is a creator and the people who publish and write books are so drunk on knowledge that we all seem to get very depressed once we figure everything out. This depression often leads us back to the belief that a creator is watching over us. The more I study, I often remind myself never to get too arrogant to the point where I forget that the Bible healed me. In that statement I keep reading it.

3. I’m thankful for the animals. At the moment that I’m writing this I’m still working at my own business. I live in a state with a lot of parks so I face off with a lot of animals. This may sound funny but I’ve been fighting with rats for the past three months. They’re hard to kill and they don’t seem to care whose property they invade. I’ve been a faithful user of traps that sometimes don’t work and when they fail it gets messy. If you’re receiving this message I don’t know how this is going to end, but at the moment that I’m writing this piece I have a wounded rat trapped inside of my bathroom. It’s been a fight. I tried to help him and he got upset so I closed the door with rat blood everywhere that he’s run to. He’s currently locked inside of the bathroom with a rat trap and I have no clue how this is going to end. The last time I checked on him he would not cooperate and literally jumped to the top of a bathroom shelf. Outside of this bad experience I’ve gotten used to feeding the cats in the back and even created cheap animal spaces around my building. The crows, sparrows, and blackbirds seem to love me. I often catch them watching me wash cars. I think they’ve become attached to me because one injured blackbird wouldn’t leave my side at one point. He died in the back of the building, I honestly believe that it was his dying wish because the New Years before he died they all sat in a tree and brung in the new years pooping on my car. They did it two times just to get my attention and just to show me that I couldn’t do anything about it. I could hear them chirping while watching me clean it. How ironic. I honestly think the animals just swing by just to see my reactions. One cat literally looked at me then darted across a traffic filled street just to see what I would do. A fox did the same thing. One Christmas before they gave hunters the okay to kill deer, a reindeer literally stopped in my backyard and gave me a head nod as if he knew me. For their continued enthusiasm in keeping me busy I’m thankful for the animals.

4. I’m thankful that some of my fellow humans seem to enjoy seeing me suffer while also taking the extra time to comeback and check on me after literally watching me climb out of a very sad situation. The key word is “some” not “all.” I seem to have spent the majority of my life trying to keep it together because of damage that other people have caused. I humbly say that this has made me a better person, but I’ve come to learn a lot about myself, my family, my friends, and most of all, I’ve come to learn why some of us are made to just listen and take a beating so that others can find their own inner strength.

Well, that’s my thankful list this year. I’m also thankful for music and all aspects of the arts. Creativity is a powerful gift that the good lord gives us because just like him we can create.

Now that I’m done with this list I guess I’ll go check on the bloody rat that’s locked in the bathroom. One of us has to win this brutal fight. Sadly, this rat is paying no bills and has literally ruined my weekend, but even in this fighting back and forth to get him out of my building I’m still thankful.

I’m assuming this must be just like the Indians and Cowboys felt fighting over territory. I’m assuming that the pilgrims were just serving their purpose in what we now call the Americas and the United States. 

In all of the wild and crazy experiences, I guess I’m thankful to be a part of this grand experiment. I’m also thankful for my grate grandfather who received a Purple Heart in World War 2 I believe. So maybe God does have a plan. What’s the odds of me serving the country and surviving to tell about it? In this wild-Wild-West I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but I guess that’s why they coined the phrase “In God We Trust.” I’ve spent three long days fighting with a wounded bloody rat that’s locked in my bathroom, but even if I lose this fight. If you’re reading this message, I’m still thankful.

The End.

The Files

“On this island everything you do and say stays here,” Epps explains.

“Oh my God is that,” Kelly says before he’s cut off.

“Quiet, relax, and take your clothes off,” Epps says kneeling in front of a horned statue.

Women from all over the world of all ages shapes and sizes enter the room as everyone begins the ritual. In the distance a baby sits in the middle of a five point star as candles burn around him.

“Is that a child? Sir, I think I should be going,” Kelly says before he’s interrupted again.

“Friend, you were chosen, we need your energy. You will get used to it after a while. The child is one of us. Here; drink. Just relax, the pleasure is divine. Carl, give him the good ink, tattoo a triangle on his back. We will need you to relax okay,” Epps says trying to calm Kelly down. 

Half naked, Kelly sees complete freedom on this island. He sees a lot of people that he used to see on Television. He sees young girls not of age all in a room with men twice their age. Deep in his mind Kelly feels his conscience setting in.

“Sir, I think I should be going,” Kelly says while feeling a hand touching his leg.

“Let him enter you,” Epps says.

Completely freaked out Kelly feels the urge to jump through the window to escape but it’s too late. The drugs enter his bloodstream.

“Now you see what we see okay, Diana, he’s your’s now. Give him the maximum pleasure treatment. No less than twenty girls at a time. Drain him until his voice changes. Break his conscience, purge his soul into complete submission. We can use him, he’s strong,” Epps says as Diana takes Kelly to the upper level.

In a robe and flip flops, Epps takes a drink and finishes his fruit bowl while taking his seat in front of the huge statue of a goat with horns. He watches like a king as the sex party begins. He feels relieved that Kelly now knows his place, a new soul lights the flame and Epps feels gratified.

The Files