Today I got a few text messages, one asked me to attend a graduation and the other a wedding anniversary. In a complex conversation I heard a woman say, “Lean not on your own understanding,” while I calculated odds and probability. My conclusion lead me to realize that a full education takes time so I’ll write about being on level one first while eating bread and water. There’s still so much to learn I guess. I then turned on the radio and heard the news about a man who decided to kill due to the war taking place between Israel and Hamas. A few years ago I saw my own ethnicity take arms to protest in a movement that sparked Black Lives Matter and White Lives Matter statements to be made. I then witnessed riots at the White House. I hear the President of the United States of America act totally out of even military code of conduct, in the public sense, but many people seem to praise his policies. As a veteran I was told that the military is the White Man’s gang by someone in a seemingly casual conversation. I even witnessed religious leaders getting involved with politics. I’ve heard them preach against political leaders to the congregation while praising other political figures. I myself am not a perfect person, but I’ve heard my fair share of the “N” word over and over again used in so many different context by so many different kinds of people that I myself am confused. I’ve witnessed many ethnicities preach the hatred of other races, yet, seem to be comfortable marrying or engaging in relationships with the races that they seem to be angry with while also taking it amongst themselves to dictate the lives of others. I guess love truly is blind. Growing older, I admit that I now get up everyday telling myself in the mirror that God saved me from a gang riddled city. God led me through the war on terror that is still alive and well. God tells me not to judge others. War teaches me that someone decided to take matters into their own hands. War teaches me that someone is pissed off. War teaches me to hold tightly to peace. War teaches me to ask God for forgiveness and mercy if I caused it. Being a victim of war every day I’ve learned something about nature and about myself. I did read that in ancient Kemet where a part of Noah’s offspring is said to have migrated to and is supposed to be the place where Yeshua walked and learned in his younger life that if studied with an open mind we could probably learn something about ourselves. Abraham’s offspring was blessed because Abraham made the choice not to sacrifice his own child. In today’s world if we as human beings do not comprehend something then we have to learn and ask questions. There are standards and principles put in place to get us to understand something about ourselves. I’m 42 now about to be 43 and I don’t regret my decision to serve and defend the constitution of the USA, a document that once considered Africans a certain percentage human, a constitution that took a war to prove otherwise with maybe nature, God or aligned thinking deciding the winner. Now we live in a time where there is chaos, just like it has always been throughout humanity, but that’s not what I wrote this piece for. I wrote this piece because my family is scattered and reality teaches me that one day I will cross paths with them and they will have questions just like I did when I got to talk to a great aunt before she died. I’m divorced and will probably never marry again unless the hair on my chest near my heart grows gray and the wheat used to make oatmeal changes my perception about life. I have things that I would love to complain about, but I have to be honest, no one cares and nature has given me the peace that I always yearned for. I can still hear God’s voice. I still have a conscience and I still made mistakes in the past. I have people who love me, and I have people who probably hate me, but that’s life. Statistically, I was not supposed to make it past 40 and personally I’ve worked to the bone for the little that I do own and the rest I gave away as an investment into the future. I’m poor, but rich in God’s grace and my grandmother and grandfather’s offspring continue to spread. Many of them, I do not know so here’s where I come to my point. Innocent people are dying everyday, but just like in the olden days we humans have to learn that there’s something greater that balances things out. When we cheat, we often get cheated, when we kill, we often live in torment for the rest of our lives. When we wage war the children that survive never forget. When we show love, sadly, hate follows, but love endures. When we’re neutral, we supply positive and negative energy with neutral vibes. When we become mysterious, people will try to figure us out, but in the end we become wiser in a cycle of life that teaches us that War, Nature and God have one simple purpose. War teaches the person who experiences it to appreciate peace if he or she survives. Nature teaches us that once we learn how to plant a garden we can feed ourselves and our family. God teaches us that we’re all beautifully made for a purpose. To conclude, I pray that I’m able to live a long life. I’ve seen and heard a lot at my age. I didn’t get to make the wedding anniversary and I probably won’t make it to the graduation, but I’ll send out gifts if I can. If I were to be called to the afterlife tomorrow I would have one message for those still on this earth and that would be what I’ve had to tell myself everyday. “Suck it up and keep going, if I survive war, appreciate the balance of nature, and if I believe in God, eventually I’ll find a reason and a purpose. I think King Solomon said it best that in the end nothing matters. You’re angry one day, but tomorrow could turn into happiness, your envy at age 20 could lead you to regrets at age 40. You could remarry the woman who you hated in your 20s years later and you could end up having children by someone whom you enslaved. That’s life and it’s not fair, but filled with surprises and special guest. Moses probably mentioned God’s name a thousand times on he and the Hebrew people’s quest to the promised land, but his people still gave him hell. So to end; Copernicus, Moses, Dr. King, Napoleon, Oppenheimer, Einstein, Hitler, Stalin and a long list of others who started a chain of events that cost lives, revolutions, different ways of thinking and even stretched the imagination of ordinary people, all of whom, have left us all a trail of causes and effects, but in the end we all have the same fate, we must leave the world to face the maker. So to conclude, what’s the point, for the followers that we gain will only see hope for a moment, but a world of unsolved problems in The End.
Dear Journal, my views on War, God, & Nature
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