Lifeless Love

It was a long deployment and by God’s divine will and mercy my life had been spared. The war was over. Realizing that I’d lost some of my natural senses I’d become lifeless in a way. Standing on the dock alone I realized that it was February, Black History Month. To be honest I had no clue who I was. My history had been erased and in reality I was a lost and lonely soldier. From a distance I saw my people differently. They left me alone to fight for myself, but deep inside I still loved them. My family had literally been torn apart by street curses, my bloodline splattered all over the city streets. Who am I? Am I an Egyptian statue with no nose? Am I a lost Israelite with no tribe? Am I a slave only 3/5ths a citizen? Who am I? Am I a deity who returned from the underworld to save his people? Am I the N word that both colors so commonly use? Who am I? Tired and weary I found comfort in a lady standing at a bus stop.

“You made it home, how was it? I’ve always wondered how it was out there. Where are your friends and family lone sailor?” She asked.

I remained quiet while noticing that she had a drawing in her hand.

“What do you want from me? Why are you here waiting for me to answer your question? Leave me alone,” I replied.

“So you want to live your life alone?” She says.

I give her a hug and a kiss then look her in the eyes.

 “I don’t know you and I’ve never met you but it’s better that way.” I explained.

She then dropped her artwork, “I need someone like you in my life. This dream I’ve held onto of fans screaming my name has been a curse. I’ve been beaten lifeless by loneliness, I need a man like you in my life.”

I turn to her as my seabag hits the deck, “Are you sure?”

She then jumps into my arms, “Yes.”

I then put her in my seabag, brace it on my back and I walk off into the sunset with her inside.

I’ve been discharged.

Lifeless Love