Silence

For over 19 years I’ve had the same conversations with people from all different ethnicities over and over again. This one fact has lead me to comprehend what happens when someone takes a gun and decides to blow out their own brains. I wouldn’t recommend this, but it’s a logical solution to get a very important point across. It gets very quiet and proves to other humans how precious one life really is, especially to those who feel like they have it all figured out. I pondered this thought after being told that I had potential. In my goal to read every book in the library and arguing with people on the business work room floor I noticed how selfish we all can be at times and how quiet the library actually is. It takes concentration to read a book. It takes meditation. When hearing kids play I kindly said “Be quiet.” I like silence. Now when people fight with me I just take my clothes off and run around outside in the woods like many of our old ancestors did without much language. When people argue about religion or politics I just paint a picture of naked women eating fresh apples and nasty men mating with them. There is no solution to anything and honestly in reality you can save a hundred people, but they’re still going to die. The probabilities are endless, but silence is an art to be mastered. It’s a physical force that has no kinetic energy unless exercised. It’s calm, it’s quiet. The answers to the question of why you shouldn’t kill yourself lies in the science. If you take a bullet and blow out your own brains the potential energy is lost and out of a billion sperm all of the momentum that you built up to get to the egg you just destroyed when all you had to do was just go into a small room and regain your thoughts in silence.

Silence; the parent complaining, the person cursing you out, the person waging war, and the child pressing your nerves teaches us how to appreciate it more and more each day. Don’t throw in the towel, your trainer in the corner knows your weaknesses, and without you he can’t win. Don’t blow your lid off with all of that noise, just meditate in silence. The person who outlives the world in the end remakes the rules with nature quietly consuming him or her.

Silence 

Conflict of Interest

Jeff and Frank were good friends, but as life went on, the ways of the world seemed to tear them apart little by little.

“Hey, Frank, this is Jeff. Call me back when you get a chance,” Jeff said leaving voice message after voice message.

“I told him how I felt, but he just keeps calling me. He knew that Jennifer was my first love why would he marry her? That punk stole everything from me. Do you remember the time when I created the musician’s corner in high school, I know that’s where he got the idea for his booming restaurant. Jeff is a thief and a fraud. Next time I see him I’m going to give it to him the old fashion way,” Frank said as tensions began to flare.

Sadly, Jeff never thought that Frank would be upset over his success. Before he fell in love with Jennifer, he did call Frank to get his consent, but Frank didn’t answer. The next evening Jeff would have never saw what was brewing coming. He and his wife Jennifer were out having a drink when Frank who was also drunk saw them dancing. In frustration, he leaped over the bar stool and punched Jeff in the face. This cleared out the entire dance floor. In a fit of rage Frank grabbed his pocket knife and began stabbing Jeff until he was lifeless. Everyone had witnessed a bitter man who was either jealous or unhappy with his own circumstances. Frank had lost it. His fit of disgust with his old friend was wild. He was so filled with rage that he growled as he stabbed his old friend over and over again. He stabbed him until he couldn’t stab him anymore. Tired and sweating, Frank fell to the floor as the cops burst in to break things up, sadly, it was too late. Jeff was dead and his wife was traumatized. This entire incident made national news and when Frank woke up the next day he couldn’t remember anything. It was like he blacked out. Young and filled with hopes and dreams he never gave his life a chance to develop. The judge gave him life in prison and Frank’s life would never be the same. What we can learn from this situation is simple. Frank spent so much time focusing on his friend Jeff that he failed to focus on himself. Sadly, after the damage was done it couldn’t be undone. After the tragedy, Jeff’s wife Jennifer created the Conflict of Interest Foundation. A group that focused on issues that often destroyed friendships. She spent the rest of her life working at this nonprofit with a picture of her husband at the front entrance. She never married again. Still in jail, Frank sent her an apology letter every week just so she could hang them on the walls at her organization so that everyone who entered would not suffer the same fate. Beware of how you allow hatred to enter your thoughts and mind friends. 

The End

Conflict of Interest 

The Great Spirit

Surrounded and tired, Chief Westfoot pulled back his tribe.

“It’s not over, the war has just begun,” Blackmoon said.

“There is a spirit in war Blackmoon. A spirit that will lead our tribes even when I’m long gone. We must wait this day as we remember the tribes that have come before us. We will call this day Memorial Day to protect this land we call turtle island,” Chief Westfoot explained.

Blackmoon didn’t understand, he was just a youngster just gaining his stripes.

“I heard of the great spirit, is it real?” He asked.

“No army or military force can win a war without it. We must wait.”

Chief Westfoot and his tribe waited for seven days then it happened. On the eighth day, feeling the wind blow he took hold of his bow and arrows. He could hear his tribesmen feeling the vibes of battle. Chanting in the distance, it was time.

“He’s here, we have the blessings of the great spirit, now we attack,” Chief Westfoot shouted as he and his tribe headed forward on the offense. They gained more territory than ever before. 

After the battle he and his tribe sat idle. 

“You were right Chief, I felt it,” Blackmoon said.

“Even in death, no military force wins without the great spirit. As a warrior you must remember that,” Chief Westfoot said laying down his arms to take a break. At that moment they all  understood but most of all they would never forget the memories of the men whose blood flooded the soil that they too bled and died for. That day no one would forget

The Great Spirit.

A Memorial Day Party to Remember

 At first glance I saw shoes hanging from street wires. I saw family members slain in broad daylight. Awaking in the night we heard rappers pouring their hearts out about street dreams of mansions and escaping the ghettos only to face more eye opening trials. Death parties with innocent little boys being stomped to death as their songs played death hooks over and over again. Half naked girls being bred at frat parties. Mind bending church boys being brought to their knees horny and forced to marry and preach about being saved from the ghetto by Jesus himself. There are no heroes only deception and death told by victors who survived. Gay men being beaten to death in the wee hours of the night while roaming the ghetto streets in women clothes. Grown alpha males begging for their freedom at the hands of justice. Men who sold drugs and took the souls of innocent families only to be brought to their knees inside of a jail cell as another beast takes their manhood. No one is innocent in this story and we’ve all faced threats of genocidal trauma. The screams of blacks running through American streets dumb and stripped naked for over four hundred years with little to no education. Many with street dreams sold to each generation, bred into division. White and black wars being waged daily many believing in things that they don’t understand and suffering. These are the memories of soldiers sent into the carnage called the World Wars. As liberals oil the steel spines of conservatives the party to remember goes on and on with many trying to play the hero. Journalist being chopped into pieces with hidden visions of seeing their people dancing in circles while joining hands. They too see no justice. Rich men basking in their fortune having sex parties as the small minded engage in conversation about conspiracy theories. Gold dripping from the ceilings of biblical bloodlines. How do we awake in a room filled with dealers playing the game of life. The truth is that we hide in a dark room fantasizing about the praises of our people. Lost and lonely in a brainwashed world roaming in the wee hours of the night we find memories of family members lost in the game of life. These memories are our only hope. These memories in a cruel brutal world are really all that any of us have left. Sitting at a dinner table at a party filled with people standing on the edge of life I too finally get it. They see the world as it is. They see it as a mess, filled with death, destruction, and chaos so they party. Live it up, “Party like everyday is your last.” They fill the room with soul snatchers with no religion. Engaging in awakened rituals of lonely freed slaves who blast off into a fit of drinking, drugs and sex, numb to the reality of life. Each choice made by victims dying inside slowly, sold a dream of a life filled with power and fame. This is a different level of thinking, it’s like a perfect soldier casted as a hero for sniping skills only to return home searching for a purpose. Combing through the pages of illegal refugees searching for a place to call home. The memories are so vivid. Roaming through hot sandy deserts dreaming of returning home only to find your wife in bed with another man. A world filled with wars, death, and destruction, one must train the mind to think positive. The memories that we share with family and friends, in the end are the only things that can really save us. The party filled with drunk naked people running through a mansion filming passionate sex scenes with adults on the edge of life yearning for innocence blood leaves us all with a bill that even justice can’t pay for. A party so wild that it will make you sick to your stomach. 

A Memorial Day Party to Remember.

Pulp Wisdom

In hardship he read every book, soon after he found himself in space.

In prayer, he learned that he’d been lied to. Whose voice was he actually hearing in his head? Once he took the time to do the research he found out that the truth was hard for him to accept, but it helped him see things clearly. He later became a teacher only to find out that the students were no different than him and even when he told them the truth, because of the lie they refused to believe him. In the end, just like him, they had to learn on their own.

He gave that girl everything only to find himself alone.

He gave her nothing only to find a home waiting for her to call him. For some odd reason she stayed on his mind even after she moved on never actually giving him her full attention. 50 years later she finally knew his name.

To serve the poor he found wealth and to find knowledge he became useful. He punched a wall when he became angry only to find out that his true weakness was his inability to control his anger. Once he mastered this he could finally lead.

Searching for happiness he saw a snake on a golf course and got to talk to a champion thought to be a deity to the world. It turns out that the champion was in pain for making the wrong decisions and actually needed a true friend like him instead of snakes in his field.

While looking through a telescope he noticed a giant on a distant planet holding a basketball alone in a room crying because he couldn’t please his family. They moved on with their life and disowned him. He’d grown wiser only to see that his children hated him. He spent the rest of his life trying to force them to love him but found true love in a long lost friend who had kids. They ended up loving him more than his biological kids.

Standing at a crossroad searching for the meaning of life he found a doctor in the mountains searching for peace. The doctor reached the peak of knowledge only to find happiness at the top of a mountain. When he fell the doctor taught him how to walk with a tree branch. Out of all the people that the doctor helped when he worked in the medical system, this one was special because he volunteered and did it for free. Once people heard of them they began migrating to the mountains and some even lived in caves just to find peace. The story is what did it.

In the middle of the street he saw a prostitute passing out business cards while her pimp bought condoms at a local store. Searching for his conscience the pimp gave a little boy a dollar who’d been smacked by his mother for disrespecting her. The next day the pimp was one dollar behind but the little boy remembered him for the rest of his life and ended up hating his mother. When he saw the pimp in his ripe old age the pimp told him that he wished that his mother loved him as the boy’s mother did and that he should respect her. The boy took the pimp’s advice and turned his hatred towards his mother into love for the rest of her life. To be judged is a lesson and every mom with a child beared the pain. 

Sitting in line at a retirement home he noticed an old lady arguing about the two thousand dollar rent payment that she’d just gave to charity, only to find out that charity gave nothing back to her. No one paid for her condo. She decided to go live and work at the place she donated to only to find her own true purpose in life.

Watching a young girl give her life to the education system, she found herself walking on water, but without the formula she drowned while her wooden sandals floated to the top. How did she not learn how swim and what gave her the idea that she could actually walk on water? In deep thought her pastor drank bottled water at her funeral as he preached and then laid her to rest. She haunted him for the rest of his life. She resurrected from the dead.

They made one thousand men fight their wars only to remind them that they volunteered. They all still got the tax bill and found out that the wars that they fought they volunteered to follow orders. As hard as it was to fathom they still had to learn how to be citizens. After another war broke out they realized that they were the only ones volunteering while everyone else did whatever they were known for doing. The groundhog still came out even in the midst of war.

Goodwill is not a skill, but the spells that we all must endure are the secrets that are hidden in plain sight. Secrets that we fail to understand. When robbed at gunpoint the answers to the secrets often lead us on a search that makes us all stronger. The spells of innocent bloodshed are often heard over and over again and sadly can be the result of suspects sweating in a mirror.

How many levels do we have to climb before we actually figure out what we really want in life?

A rich carpenter that lends his books to a poor one must either want a student or needs help building his masterpiece. It turns out that the only difference between each carpenter was that one sliced wood into paper and sold his vision to the world while the other one burned all of his waste to keep warm. Together they invented ashes to write on paper.

One man stayed in one spot for 50 years only to find a dog who could deal with him. The dog didn’t have a job and couldn’t even speak the man’s language. His wife left him to travel the world. In the divorce hearings the man decided to give her everything but the dog. He survived on two hundred dollars a month and after the 50 years his ex-wife wrote him a letter admitting that she missed him but sadly her ring was now hanging on the dog’s collar. When he asked what happened to the billions that he left her with she admitted that after 50 years of going in circles that even money and material possessions could not save her from the wrath of greed, she’d missed his love. The man thanked her for being honest, ended the conversation, fed his dog and then cooked dinner for himself. Before bed he looked at the same picture of he and his ex-wife that he did every night and went to sleep at peace. They buried him next to his dog.

They fought for one section only to find hope in the front row. They called each other names only to find hope in sticking together. They complained a thousand times only to find themselves in charge in the end. What would they do with all of that power? Ironically, they found it concealed in the next generation. The generation that saw everything that they did wrong. The generation that buried them. Their dreams of everyone sitting in the front row together became a crowded reality.

Sitting in a field with a flag, a gang rag and a physics book, Rose finally decided that everything she worked for left her on the edge facing nothing but rejection. Contemplating on whether to be the first woman to solve the equation of what makes a woman different from a man she shot one thousand rounds and died saving her country after a bomb was thought to have taken her life. A million people read her story only to find out that she was alive working for a charity barely able to afford a place to stay. She later fell in love and actually concluded that simplicity was not that bad but her ambitions made it complicated. In the end, her story was told from a different perspective.

Spinning in circles with an attorney, John signed a thousand contracts only to be sued by his daughter, whom, he had by a woman that he slept with on his rise to fame. How does a father’s first encounter with his child come in a courtroom because she fell at one of his stores only to find out that the man she’d been set to sue was actually the father that she’d been searching for her entire life. She dropped the charges and hugged her dad in front of the jury. In the end, her dad left her everything, much more than she would have won if she’d sued him.

Jacob gave everything to keep his bad habits flowing. He spent every cent on his bad habits only to find himself never admitting that he had a problem. After going broke he tried to sue the companies that provided the products that he so desperately enjoyed. In court they were able to defeat him because of the warnings labels. Jacob finally quit, he finally read the warning labels.

Pulp Wisdom

I made the right choice

Today I had another chance to fight, but once again I chose to walk away. Sadly, in my lifetime I’ve been in this position over and over again. I walked away and it took a lot out of me. Friends, my entire life has been filled with drama, wars, and heartbreaks. I saw the face of evil at an early age over and over again. I don’t know how my life will end, but I admit, it’s hard to choose peace, but I think it’s worth it. To some I probably will be considered less of a man, but I learned something today. I learned another lesson about growing older and wiser. I learned that even when you know, you don’t know. I learned that even when you’re good, you’re never good enough. I also learned that even when you have it, it’s still never enough. I decided to walk away today and as hard as it was it made me stronger.

I think I made the right choice.

It’s in God’s hands now, I’m sure there’s a reason why I chose to take the path less traveled. 

The tongue wrestling was good enough.

The Sad Truth about Entrepreneurship

A man stopped in my store today and left a saving souls booklet. In church we call them tracts. He never even took the time to hear how I felt or what I believed. Sadly, he didn’t know that I used to pass out those same tracts every Sunday. I don’t know why some people get upset when you start investing into yourself and the people around you. It’s like they’re enjoying a life with basic critical decisions while you suffer trying to follow the laws of fundamental business. It’s like they’re enjoying seeing you as someone who has lost their way when actually you too are trying to save souls. Human nature is weird. People are weird. I honestly think people need to rethink how they think. A business is important in so many ways, but why are so many of them going through hell? Business teaches you about accountability, service, leadership and responsibility, but the life of a business owner is hell. You face physical, and psychological torment everyday because not everyone thinks the same but it’s your choice. The truth is that I gave myself to the public for years and just decided to steer my own ship because it seemed like that’s where my life was going. Ironically, after taking the leap I found out that other business owners felt the same way. Mentally alone in a room trying to keep serving and providing a paycheck for the people who give you their time. If customers did have a clear view of my life they would see a man who has always loved the story of Christ, a man who has always tried to see the good in others. I, like many other business owners and entrepreneurs will never be perfect, but if we continue to be beaten and battered financially then the American dream will fade. The American dream is not always about money, but the basic principles of independent thinking and ownership. If this involves being persecuted, demonized, and shunned upon then why not be happy alone. It hurts, but if you had to shovel the dirt out of a pit with your bare fingernails constantly left alone in a room finding happiness in a book, you’d be just as disciplined as me too. If that customer only knew that deep inside there’s a man tormented at the ways of the world. Fed up with societal norms fighting everyday to provide a service. The truth is that just like those saving souls, there’s a man curled up in his bed praying for God’s blessings every week but even that is never enough for someone else’s agenda or beliefs. Sadly, that man sitting in a room happy alone is me. A man terrified of his past getting up everyday trying to work to motivate others to do the same. The mindset of an entrepreneur has seen failure over and over again. He or she jumps all while losing the fear of failure everyday. Some even face jail time never to give up on the ability to live the American dream. The nightmare is that it may seem like an entrepreneur has a lot, but deep down inside he or she is a human dragging the world through a limitless test of how far the mind, body, and spirit can go.

Limitless, failure and…

“Triumph!” 

Another friend lost, another family member gone, but the show must go on.

The Sad Truth about Entrepreneurship 

The Devil’s Harvest

 “Dad, what is a mad scientist?” Wayne asked his father.

His dad put down his newspaper and starts to explain.

“I guess it’s a human that goes crazy trying to figure everything out,” his dad replies.

“Pastor Mike says that I’m evil because I like to look at women. Do you think I’m evil dad?” 

At this moment Wayne’s father is starting to get concerned.

“Are you okay, son?” His dad replies.

“Well, me and my friends have been living it up. Jada got naked after she drank all of the alcohol and then she gave Ed a great spit bath. He loved it. Shawn slipped me something in my drink and I don’t know what happened after that. I woke up and the tires on the new car you bought me were in the trunk. Dashawn was covered in baby oil when he woke up. None of us know how he got Tina’s underwear caught in his throat. Cassie was twitching when she woke up, some of her hair was in Bill’s hand. Erica kept singing the same song over and over again. We don’t know what happened to her. Micheal and Michelle somehow got stuck together both of them were upside down with whip cream and cherries everywhere. Gene fell to sleep on the couch watching CSPAN and the room almost burned down and we don’t know what he was inhaling through the tubes. It’s weird because when I woke up I was naked in Pastor Mike’s church parking lot. I don’t know what happened dad, but whatever we did opened up a new world in my mind that I can’t stop craving.”Wayne’s father went to the kitchen to grab some bananas and tomatoes. 

“This is good harvest, when mixed with the bad harvest the world looks a bit different after each dose. There’s positive and negative energy son fighting for power every day and we’re all stuck in the middle of this never ending project. Be careful what you put inside of your body son,” Wayne’s dad said.

Wayne looked at his father, then started crying and went to the top floor of the house and jumped off of the roof. 

His father ran outside to pick him up.

“Son, what in the hell were you thinking?” His dad asked.

“I need the insurance money dad, the president is after me.”

At this moment Wayne’s father knew something was wrong. He went in the house and made sure that his son could not find his gun collection. Whatever Wayne did the other night had put him on the edge. The teenager was on the edge of life. He didn’t seem to have a conscience mind anymore. He was paranoid, delusional and psychotic all at the same time. After getting some quiet time while he was asleep, his dad finally had time to catch up on his news and soon realized that his son was telling the truth. He got his tax bill in the mail and “Yes,” the government was after them. Somehow the Devil’s harvest had given his son special powers to be able to see into the future. Afraid of not being able to pay Wayne’s medical bills and the government all at the same time, his dad realized that his son had opened up gates that couldn’t be closed. Wayne’s father then took his ailing son back to his room after waking up in another cold fit so he could rest while he filed the insurance claims.

“I guess all harvest isn’t what it’s cracked up to be,” his dad thought being very careful not to file a fraudulent claim.

The Devil’s Harvest

Killer Bees

My crown won’t bow to no ruling force.

My rebels I hold cocked in the chamber.

If freedom is a curse, then open up the gates; Danger! Danger!

Bravery is a skill used for those who desire to conquer the world, but my riches lay deeper inside of my blood.

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! Here comes the flood.

The forces that I have on the way will bring mortal men to their knees.

My divine blessings are worse when I sneeze.

Purified like a king dangling from a cross I come in peace to reclaim what was lost.

In the end it will be hard for you to understand.

Rising through the heavens I rain down dark matter and kneel to no man.

Dressed in black, riding my horse, I know your thoughts, I’m the hidden force.

I’m like a pharaoh lost in time spreading life, knowledge, and strength. 

The hebrews know me for I came like the wind, but they too failed, scattered and sinned.

I am a perfect bee tending his hive, I am the morning sun for I am divine.

Here’s some honey for I rise and shine.

Let me bee, I’m the buzz and only I can set you free.

Bow to no one and if they try to bring you to your knees, buzz like killer bees.

I was and will always be the vision shining from sea to shining seas.

Killer bees.