Sitting in my lonely room, I can't help but try to contemplate the spectacular wonders of the universe. "It's just a ball of light on earth, nothing more," I keep repeating to myself, staring at the sun through the tinted window.
"I have to find some meaning to all of this. Why am I here? How can there be so many pessimistic prophets when I see miracles everyday? The sun still rises every time they predict the world is coming to an end. Are the prophets all crazy, or are they like me, searching for answers?"
In deep thought, I fix my eyes on the large ball of light that does not move, it's the sun. Focusing on the rays of light, my radio alarm then goes off, I begin to vibe with the words of a dead poet playing through the speakers. I become distracted so I take a seat and listen to the pain flowing with the digital instruments. As the tune plays, I ponder on his every thought.
"I wonder what he saw while writing the lyrics?"
Getting sidetracked, I rush to turn off the alarm. Turning to go back to the window, I see a rope tied around two pieces of wood on the floor. The wood is crossed, realizing my fate, the wind blows through the cracked tinted window. I slowly walk over to the window and notice a bunch of stargazers and wise men pointing to the sky. The day seems long. My heart skips a beat.
"I'm losing my mind, I must be dreaming," I say falling to the floor.
When I awake, I soon notice that I've slept for too long so I just lay there looking at the ceiling. The sun is still in the sky. I get up and rush to the window, it's like I'm going in circles, my mind is but a small piece of this masterpiece. In my obsessive thoughts I yearn to figure out why I'm here. I start to drift...
"Deities enter through the wombs of saints and demons enter through the mind."
My focus has to remain clear, I can figure this out.
"Is death the only way out of this world? When my soul leaves, will I too, go to the source? Does the intellectual still think like animals? I guess I've been born again. I know for a fact that I've been here before. Who thought of this universe? Why am I here?"
Looking out of the cracked window I feel the wind blow again, I can hear a lamb in the distance. Time keeps ticking while my thoughts soon turn into a universe of ideas. I start to feel like a raging lion slowly turning into a madman searching for answers. The feathers of supreme angelic like creatures point to an infinite place through the glass. In amazement, I look up at the sky. I notice that the sun has not moved, and it's been three days.
"When will this be over? Why can't I figure this out? We enter this world through the womb of a female searching for a place to call home on earth and the voices of Gods can only be heard when we listen. One God. One leader. One source. Maybe if I listen and close my eyes, God will give me the answers, but I'm so tired that I may be tempted to fall asleep again. Where do I go when I fall to sleep? Do I go back where I came from? Is this like atoms borrowing atoms? Why am I here?"
In my wondering mind I sit and stare at the sun through the tinted glass. It doesn't move it just sits there in the heavens. It's in the sky and just like the moon, it's there to guide me through the darkness. I'm so tired, but I must not rest until I find the answers to this equation. I ponder on my final thought while drawing on the window, drawing like words written on thin sheets of wood. I draw hoping someone will find my math equation to this miracle, like scrolls found in lost caves if I don't make it. My imagination has reached its limit, similar to leaves falling from a tree. I then notice my reflection in the glass. There's no way for me to know everything so I leave the window and give-up trying.
"It is what it is..." I say, closing the room door. I then drink the last cup of water and I'm left in contempt of my own fate. I am but a man in a big universe and I too must wither away like the sun. I turn to my journal and write down these last words: "This is the day the sun stood still."
Monday, December 26, 2016
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
The Cherubim and the Great Spirit
It was written in the great books and it was done, while the seals of man started to unfold, the people on earth began to call to the heavens for answers.
Martha and the small child Anna were all alone in a golden temple as war broke out on earth. They sat in a small room and questioned the fate of mankind, there was no mercy, for the people had forgotten about the great spirit.
"Anna get some rest you've been up all night. Children need sleep." Martha said, tending to Anna's needs.
"Mrs. Martha, why do men destroy everything that God creates?" Anna asked as Martha tucked her in.
"I don't know Anna, I wish I had all of the answers," Martha began to shake her head as she heard more gunshots outside, "I want you to rest now Anna, maybe God will answer your question in your dreams, if you believe in your heart that he exist."
It was evident that at this moment in time, Anna and Martha, were used to the sounds of war because Anna went right to sleep. Laying there asleep the cherubim felt her heart beating and supreme wisdom filled her thoughts. Anna arose the next morning full of joy. Sitting in her peaceful cubical, Martha began playing the harp, she then heard Anna singing to the sounds of the music. How angelic the sound was. Martha began to ring the bells of the golden temple, for the great spirit had returned. As the men of war heard the bells they all dropped their weapons.
"The Great Spirit has returned. Peace be with you brothers," all of the men said returning to their homes.
"Peace be with you."
Martha then rushed to grab her trumpet. She blew with all of her might as Anna looked to the sky. The great spirit began to move through the body of every creation and peace was restored in the hearts of man. This was the moment for a new kingdom on earth.
In all of spiritual glory and great revival, the cherubim sat above the temple, the great spirit moved every creature towards a jubilee. For it was written and the spirit of man had been restored. Singing and dancing soon followed as the people rejoiced, for the God of heavens army had defeated the great beast of the underworld and shown mercy to the people of earth.
All it took was one child with a heart of gold to believe in something greater than what was on earth.
For the kingdom of heaven had answered the cries of the people and the great spirit saved mankind from the beast of the underworld.
Martha and the small child Anna were all alone in a golden temple as war broke out on earth. They sat in a small room and questioned the fate of mankind, there was no mercy, for the people had forgotten about the great spirit.
"Anna get some rest you've been up all night. Children need sleep." Martha said, tending to Anna's needs.
"Mrs. Martha, why do men destroy everything that God creates?" Anna asked as Martha tucked her in.
"I don't know Anna, I wish I had all of the answers," Martha began to shake her head as she heard more gunshots outside, "I want you to rest now Anna, maybe God will answer your question in your dreams, if you believe in your heart that he exist."
It was evident that at this moment in time, Anna and Martha, were used to the sounds of war because Anna went right to sleep. Laying there asleep the cherubim felt her heart beating and supreme wisdom filled her thoughts. Anna arose the next morning full of joy. Sitting in her peaceful cubical, Martha began playing the harp, she then heard Anna singing to the sounds of the music. How angelic the sound was. Martha began to ring the bells of the golden temple, for the great spirit had returned. As the men of war heard the bells they all dropped their weapons.
"The Great Spirit has returned. Peace be with you brothers," all of the men said returning to their homes.
"Peace be with you."
Martha then rushed to grab her trumpet. She blew with all of her might as Anna looked to the sky. The great spirit began to move through the body of every creation and peace was restored in the hearts of man. This was the moment for a new kingdom on earth.
In all of spiritual glory and great revival, the cherubim sat above the temple, the great spirit moved every creature towards a jubilee. For it was written and the spirit of man had been restored. Singing and dancing soon followed as the people rejoiced, for the God of heavens army had defeated the great beast of the underworld and shown mercy to the people of earth.
All it took was one child with a heart of gold to believe in something greater than what was on earth.
For the kingdom of heaven had answered the cries of the people and the great spirit saved mankind from the beast of the underworld.
Monday, December 5, 2016
Ashley and the Tree of Knowledge
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce our special guest for this evening, Ashley," Professor Vick says, introducing his guest to open his grand presentation for the solidarity movement.
Ashley then approaches the podium.
"Thank you, thank you so much for that grand invitation. When I look back over my life, I see the mistakes that I've made. I often think about all of the people that have let me down, but today is a special day, because I look back and I see a brighter future ahead. I want to first let you all know how grateful I am to be on this stage, but I'm not going to lie to you, I wish I lived in a country that was simple, but it's not. The people here are so driven by money and achievement that we've forgotten the simplicity of living. I've stayed in one spot for practically my whole life. I've seen men and women stab each other in the back just to hear the words, 'good job.' On my journey, I've often found myself afraid of death. I've often found myself in a paranoid state of mind because I don't know who to trust. I honestly feel that we've lost touch with reality, and if we...as a united nation, don't go back to the fundamentals of living, fast, we will not only kill the future, but we will destroy the basic concept of human nature. In empathy, I see women who are alone. I see women who have to abort their children because they want a better life. I see men who have to sit alone in front of a computer because they don't have a wife at home. I see people raging to get their ideas noticed to feed their families. I also see women having to sell their bodies for sex, just to eat. If people would die to get into a nation that is driven by those who use time to progress their own agendas, then I wonder what the true purpose of life is. I look at my children with no father at home...I don't know who to blame. I often wonder about my family and their addictions...I don't know who to blame. Who do we blame? Should we blame ourselves? In my alone time, I cry because I really do feel that the weak have been led astray. I believe that we as a people don't know who to follow so we often turn to darkness because we're afraid of those in the light. This holiday season, I will be alone with my children and my diplomas and I honestly believe that fear of failure has turned me into a maniac. I honestly believe that those plotting on my meal have made me into an ambitious machine. I'm an animal, and my thirst for knowledge has lead me to see the truth in mankind. And when they too find the truth, they will have sympathy for those who don't know. In my closing statements, I want to end by saying that the truth is far greater than the lies that we've been led to believe. I wish you all the best on your journey to the tree of knowledge, and when you find the answers you will look back and see a field of bodies that have been led astray. May God bless you all."
In ahh of her speech, Professor Vick approaches the podium as the crowd of students and advisors absorbs her message.
"Well, thank you Ashley for that amazing testimony. Let us all give Ashley a warm hand for that enlightening speech of what we must do in our quest for knowledge. I hope you all noticed that we came into the building with no violence or metal detectors at the door. We trust one another. We are free and we now welcome Ashley into our family."
As everyone gathered around to welcome Ashley into the solidarity movement she noticed one of her old boyfriends entering from afar. Exiting the stage, her fear had again started to take ahold of her and her past enraged her thoughts as he began to shout.
"Ashley, I still love you. Ashley, I still love you."
Realizing that he was unworthy of her, at least at the moment, she entertained the crowd as security took him out.
This is what life is like for those who better themselves. This is what Ashley feared the most. Now that Ashley had become something profitable to the mass amounts of people that followed her, no matter what she did, a world of trouble still awaited her outside of the gates of knowledge...
"For she had been named after a tree in a garden with the tree of knowledge and now that she had become enlightened, there was no turning back, for she alone chose this path. For she alone chose to partake of the tree of knowledge."
Ashley
Ashley then approaches the podium.
"Thank you, thank you so much for that grand invitation. When I look back over my life, I see the mistakes that I've made. I often think about all of the people that have let me down, but today is a special day, because I look back and I see a brighter future ahead. I want to first let you all know how grateful I am to be on this stage, but I'm not going to lie to you, I wish I lived in a country that was simple, but it's not. The people here are so driven by money and achievement that we've forgotten the simplicity of living. I've stayed in one spot for practically my whole life. I've seen men and women stab each other in the back just to hear the words, 'good job.' On my journey, I've often found myself afraid of death. I've often found myself in a paranoid state of mind because I don't know who to trust. I honestly feel that we've lost touch with reality, and if we...as a united nation, don't go back to the fundamentals of living, fast, we will not only kill the future, but we will destroy the basic concept of human nature. In empathy, I see women who are alone. I see women who have to abort their children because they want a better life. I see men who have to sit alone in front of a computer because they don't have a wife at home. I see people raging to get their ideas noticed to feed their families. I also see women having to sell their bodies for sex, just to eat. If people would die to get into a nation that is driven by those who use time to progress their own agendas, then I wonder what the true purpose of life is. I look at my children with no father at home...I don't know who to blame. I often wonder about my family and their addictions...I don't know who to blame. Who do we blame? Should we blame ourselves? In my alone time, I cry because I really do feel that the weak have been led astray. I believe that we as a people don't know who to follow so we often turn to darkness because we're afraid of those in the light. This holiday season, I will be alone with my children and my diplomas and I honestly believe that fear of failure has turned me into a maniac. I honestly believe that those plotting on my meal have made me into an ambitious machine. I'm an animal, and my thirst for knowledge has lead me to see the truth in mankind. And when they too find the truth, they will have sympathy for those who don't know. In my closing statements, I want to end by saying that the truth is far greater than the lies that we've been led to believe. I wish you all the best on your journey to the tree of knowledge, and when you find the answers you will look back and see a field of bodies that have been led astray. May God bless you all."
In ahh of her speech, Professor Vick approaches the podium as the crowd of students and advisors absorbs her message.
"Well, thank you Ashley for that amazing testimony. Let us all give Ashley a warm hand for that enlightening speech of what we must do in our quest for knowledge. I hope you all noticed that we came into the building with no violence or metal detectors at the door. We trust one another. We are free and we now welcome Ashley into our family."
As everyone gathered around to welcome Ashley into the solidarity movement she noticed one of her old boyfriends entering from afar. Exiting the stage, her fear had again started to take ahold of her and her past enraged her thoughts as he began to shout.
"Ashley, I still love you. Ashley, I still love you."
Realizing that he was unworthy of her, at least at the moment, she entertained the crowd as security took him out.
This is what life is like for those who better themselves. This is what Ashley feared the most. Now that Ashley had become something profitable to the mass amounts of people that followed her, no matter what she did, a world of trouble still awaited her outside of the gates of knowledge...
"For she had been named after a tree in a garden with the tree of knowledge and now that she had become enlightened, there was no turning back, for she alone chose this path. For she alone chose to partake of the tree of knowledge."
Ashley
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Keep going
What's the purpose of all this?
Today was an odd day, I learned that even if I lose fifteen dollars someone else gains fifteen more.
A team with no wins celebrates when they win one game.
Is that the championship?
Why is she upset with me, she owes me money. I gave it to her and she was happy, but when she had to pay it back she was upset.
I wonder what would've happened if I would've said no.
Hum...
How do I know the sun is out if I'm asleep...well that's an interesting thought.
Two of my best friends turned out to be criminals, they're in jail now, I won't be seeing them anytime soon.
One friend shot a man and the other robbed a liquor store.
I spoke with a man who pastored a church for twenty years and he got caught cheating on his wife, he's still preaching and the members are still saying amen.
I went to visit the same church and my shoes were untied and they told me to tie them. Should I listen?
Two girls tried to influence me to vote but if there's only two people in my house, is it right that only one of us makes the laws?
What's the purpose of all this?
I figured I would try something odd today just to see if I get caught but nobody ever comes to visit me but the mailman. If he walks in and sees what I'm doing, I wonder if he will keep it to himself. Nah, he's going to go make fun of me with another carrier.
Once I learn one thing I find out that I don't know enough.
I played basketball and the ball just wouldn't go in the round hole, but I did make one layup.
For some reason they only cheered when the ball went in the hole. I guess I have to keep trying, I played good defense though.
The man has been divorced five times and he just got married again. She said she loves him at the alter because he never gives up, then he kissed his sixth wife. Good luck.
I slipped on the diving board. I'm so clumsy.
I wonder if the girl at the candy store likes me, because she sure is sweet.
I winked at her and she showed me her ring, more fish in the sea.
What's the purpose of all of this?
I wonder why my name is not in any holy books, if only I were the author.
One man learns then the dust fills his grave.
What was the point of him learning?
She goes to school but then drops out.
How will she pay the bill?
She wore white at her wedding because she was a virgin and then got a divorce.
This makes no sense.
They pay more to see the film when it comes out then it's worth a dollar ten years later.
Hum...
I heard one girl say she would never date a military man because of how crazy the life is, but she has a baby by someone who left her. Would she have been better-off dating the military man?
Hum...
I'm walking over bodies.
Hum...
I'm dodging bullets.
Hum...
He's a professional dancer that refuses to dance with amateurs...is he really a dancer?
I wonder why he won't dance with amateurs.
She spends her whole life talking about leaving the town she grew up in, then moves somewhere else and decides to come back home.
Interesting.
I woke up this morning in the psych ward.
I'm still on earth and someone just told me the world was about to end.
They lied to me.
I guess I have no choice but to keep going.
Today was an odd day, I learned that even if I lose fifteen dollars someone else gains fifteen more.
A team with no wins celebrates when they win one game.
Is that the championship?
Why is she upset with me, she owes me money. I gave it to her and she was happy, but when she had to pay it back she was upset.
I wonder what would've happened if I would've said no.
Hum...
How do I know the sun is out if I'm asleep...well that's an interesting thought.
Two of my best friends turned out to be criminals, they're in jail now, I won't be seeing them anytime soon.
One friend shot a man and the other robbed a liquor store.
I spoke with a man who pastored a church for twenty years and he got caught cheating on his wife, he's still preaching and the members are still saying amen.
I went to visit the same church and my shoes were untied and they told me to tie them. Should I listen?
Two girls tried to influence me to vote but if there's only two people in my house, is it right that only one of us makes the laws?
What's the purpose of all this?
I figured I would try something odd today just to see if I get caught but nobody ever comes to visit me but the mailman. If he walks in and sees what I'm doing, I wonder if he will keep it to himself. Nah, he's going to go make fun of me with another carrier.
Once I learn one thing I find out that I don't know enough.
I played basketball and the ball just wouldn't go in the round hole, but I did make one layup.
For some reason they only cheered when the ball went in the hole. I guess I have to keep trying, I played good defense though.
The man has been divorced five times and he just got married again. She said she loves him at the alter because he never gives up, then he kissed his sixth wife. Good luck.
I slipped on the diving board. I'm so clumsy.
I wonder if the girl at the candy store likes me, because she sure is sweet.
I winked at her and she showed me her ring, more fish in the sea.
What's the purpose of all of this?
I wonder why my name is not in any holy books, if only I were the author.
One man learns then the dust fills his grave.
What was the point of him learning?
She goes to school but then drops out.
How will she pay the bill?
She wore white at her wedding because she was a virgin and then got a divorce.
This makes no sense.
They pay more to see the film when it comes out then it's worth a dollar ten years later.
Hum...
I heard one girl say she would never date a military man because of how crazy the life is, but she has a baby by someone who left her. Would she have been better-off dating the military man?
Hum...
I'm walking over bodies.
Hum...
I'm dodging bullets.
Hum...
He's a professional dancer that refuses to dance with amateurs...is he really a dancer?
I wonder why he won't dance with amateurs.
She spends her whole life talking about leaving the town she grew up in, then moves somewhere else and decides to come back home.
Interesting.
I woke up this morning in the psych ward.
I'm still on earth and someone just told me the world was about to end.
They lied to me.
I guess I have no choice but to keep going.
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