Some say addiction is like a virus, a virus that spreads. You find yourself going in circles until it's defeated. In the midst of this challenge it becomes your crutch until you snap. You go to it over and over again to heal the pain. I couldn't find a cure until I found a weapon to fight with. To kill a cancer you have to kill every bad cell. I killed the dealer, I killed the exotic dancers, I killed everything that I felt killed everything that I loved. On the end of my killing spree I sat in a room alone with no recipe to feed my cravings. I had no one to act out the sex scenes in the videos. I had no one to cook up the drugs, no one to get drunk with and no one to smoke with, I killed everything that was killing me and somehow I found justice. After I realized what I had done, I looked in the mirror and I felt better. I washed my hands of all of the blood in the dirty sink and when the cops came I turned myself in. With no more bad cells I cured the cancer and I alone was responsible for relapsing and killing myself. I now had no choice but to be clean. Hearing a crowd of addicts cheering was all an illusion because the only cheering that I heard came from those who took their second chance and never looked back. I became the hero that told my fans, "Don't try this at home."