Thursday, July 16, 2020

No Slackers Allowed

Once upon a time a little man named Gary woke up and noticed that his wife was still sleep and the house was a mess. Having twelve kids, this angered Gary so he took matters into his own hands. Not only did he invent his famous golden magic whip, but he used it. He got everyone in the house out of bed and showed them pictures of lazy ass people rotting away. He also showed his family pictures of drunken, lazy, smoked out, no good ass heathens also. Gary’s family knew he meant business when he made his daughter cut the grass with scissors and had his wife scrape the dinner plate with her fingernails. He took it to another level when he smacked his neighbor in the face for watching and not helping him lay new cement. Gary never heard of a vacation, he never heard of golf neither. I think what drove him to his breaking point was when he saw the ancient pyramids and the tall buildings in New York City and only saw trash piling up in his town. It was evident that Gary was allergic to slackers and no good “lazy ass” people. When Gary lead the construction crew to build the first skyscraper in his town, to honor him, his family built a huge statue of him with his golden magic whip and his children on his back in the front yard. Gary never owned a slave, nor did he ever have people working for him, every piece of help he got building with his hands was because he motivated people to help him just by doing it himself. The construction crew that helped him build the skyscraper would have never come together if Gary had not drew up the blueprints himself. His neighbor still has the hand mark on his face that motivated him to help Gary lay cement. Just by smacking and motivating his neighbor, he healed him of COVID-19. Gary’s daughter used her finger to write these empowering words on the cement: “No slackers allowed.”

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